Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Just say NO to a rapid refund of your taxes!

From CNN.COM:

Loans against expected tax refunds carry hefty price

WASHINGTON (AP) -- There are loans for just about everything these days, so why not loans against your tax refund?

Bad idea, say tax experts. Such loans provide quick cash at a hefty price.

An estimated 12 million taxpayers took out refund anticipation loans -- or RALs -- in 2004, the latest year for which there are comprehensive figures, according to the National Consumer Law Center. These mostly low- and moderate-income taxpayers paid a total of more than $1 billion in fees for their easy money.

RALs are a short-term cash advance using the expected tax refund as collateral. Taxpayers get the money before the Internal Revenue Service sends a refund; they sign over the actual refund to the lender. The typical loan period is 7 to 14 days.

Many companies offer RALs, though they aren't always called that -- look for phrases like "fast cash refunds," "express money" or "instant refunds." Most carry a multitude of fees, sometimes hidden or not immediately obvious to the consumer.

In a 2006 report to Congress, the IRS' Taxpayer Advocate Office cited as typical a $3,000 RAL facilitated by tax-prep giant H&R Block through lender HSBC Bank. The loan carried a $24.95 bank account setup fee and a $75 finance charge -- on top of an average $150 tax return preparation fee.

Last year Block settled a number of class-action lawsuits over its RALs.

The company has since lowered fees by 40 percent for its average RAL of $2,800, said spokeswoman Kate O'Neill Rauber. Such a loan could cost as low as $60 when combined with a bank account and Block's "Emerald Prepaid Card."

But that charge doesn't include a tax preparation fee, now averaging $160. Rauber said the lender, HBSC, "will only provide an RAL through a licensed tax professional," meaning that "to obtain an RAL from H&R Block, a client must have their taxes prepared by us."

Rauber says Block makes sure clients understand that an RAL is a loan and discloses all fees ahead of time.

"We've reached out to consumer advocate groups. We've enhanced our disclosures," she said.

She cites Block's RAL fact sheet to clients, which states they must repay the full amount of the loan "even if the IRS does not send all of your refund." The brochure notes that taxpayers whose RAL applications aren't accepted by the lender-bank still must pay an account fee and adds: "The total cost of an RAL may be substantially higher than other kinds of credit, and you may want to consider other alternatives."

Jackson Hewitt Tax Service, the nation's second-largest tax preparer with over 6,000 franchise sites, offers RALs of up to $9,999 through a bank lender that can be had in as little as a day, according to the company's Web site.

Fees are withheld from the loan proceeds, which can be loaded onto a prepaid "ipower CashCard." Fees can include a $30 bank load fee, a $20 "Jackson Hewitt Office Fee," as well as various other fees associated with the use of the CashCard, including a $15 "card closure/cancellation" fee.

The company did not respond to a reporter's repeated requests to make a spokesman available to discuss its RALs.

Critics: Practice amounts to loan-sharking
Critics of RALs, like the National Consumer Law Center, say they amount to loan-sharking -- easy cash at usurious rates. Though the volume of RALs appears to be leveling off -- the IRS says it processed 9.6 million returns with RAL indicators in 2006, down slightly from previous years -- opponents say such loans are still a problem for lower-income taxpayers.

"We're seeing trends in the right direction from at least some of the industry actors, whether due from lawsuits or public attention," said Chi Chi Wu, staff attorney at the NCLC in Boston, Massachusettes. Nevertheless, RALs still present "huge public policy concerns" because they drain money from the working poor, she said.

Data collected by the IRS show that in the 2004 filing season, 56 percent of the 13.8 million RAL recipients -- about 7.7 million -- were also recipients of the Earned Income Tax Credit, the federal poverty assistance program for working families.

Eligible taxpayers typically need help in preparing the complex paperwork to claim the credit. That can leave them vulnerable to unscrupulous tax preparers, even as they urgently need cash to pay bills, unexpected expenses and tax prep fees.

The IRS does not endorse RALs and notes that with electronic filing of tax returns, taxpayers receive refunds in two weeks or less -- though it can take six to eight weeks for those filing paper returns.

Last fall, the IRS reached an agreement with an alliance of tax software companies that provide free tax preparation and electronic filing for taxpayers with adjusted gross incomes of $52,000 or less. Under the agreement, the companies will no longer offer RALs to taxpayers who use that program.

The Taxpayer Advocate, an independent office within the IRS that helps taxpayers resolve tax problems, wants Congress and the agency to do more to stop abusive loans -- including reducing the time it takes to get refunds and issuing refunds on U.S. debit cards that don't carry high transaction or processing fees.

In part to dampen RAL demand, the IRS this year will deposit a taxpayer's refund directly into as many as three financial accounts, such as checking, savings and retirement.

Still, many taxpayers who purchase RALs don't have a bank account in which to deposit a refund check or can't wait the time it would take to get an IRS check, Taxpayer Advocate Nina E. Olson noted in her 2006 report to Congress.

"It is in the best interest of taxpayers for the IRS and the Department of Treasury to create an environment where the demand for RALs is the absolute minimum," she wrote.

Turtle Wednesday: Filters

Quote of the day:
If a turtle is missing his shell
Is he homeless…or naked?


Back to business, I've mentioned filters previously. I want to go into a little more detail about my weapons of choice, the Fluval 304.


My twin 304's

The Fluval 304 has been replaced by the Fluval 305. It looks pretty similar to me, so I imagine it's still a good filter. The 304 is a good filter. I have one on my 30 gallon tank, and one on my 125 gallon tank. Both tanks remain clean and clear, but I think that might be due to how I modified the filter matter. With a little tweaking you can make these GREAT filters.


My 30 breeder with filter hoses shown

Fluval makes four different canister filters, the Fluval 104, 204, 304, 404. I think now they are 105, 205, 305, 405, but you can still find the old ones at reasonable prices. I chose the 304. I believe the 204 had the capacity to handle my 125 gallon tank, but I wanted to make sure I had more filtration that I needed. There's no such thing as too much filtration, especially when you have several adult aquatic turtles. They made a mess!

Within the 304 there are four chambers: one upright for foam pads, and three chambers. Water comes in through the pads, then through the chambers and back out. From the factory they com equipped with four pads, and "prefilters." FYI, prefilter material are those white tube things. They catch the big stuff. If you use the filter the way it comes from the factory, it will keep your tank cleaner than an in-tank filter, but by not much more. Turtles create a lot of ammonia. So you can eliminate a lot of that by making you own ammo-carb sacks. Go to Walmart and buy a couple white stockings. They are 50 cents or so. Buy some ammo-carb from the pet shop. Fill the end of the stocking with a big handful of the white and black pellets. Tie off the end, and cut. Repeat. You should have two of these in your filter. I like to put them on the bottom level. I also like making my water CRYSTAL CLEAR. You can achieve this with regular and dirt-cheap filter floss. I put a wad of it evenly on the bottom of the bottom compartment under the ammo-carb packs. The regular carb packs are fin for the middle level, but if you want to ever replace them, you can use two more ammo-carb bags. Also on the middle level I cut a square of ammonia pad. That helps filter the water more, and reduce ammonia even more.


Fluval hose going into the 125 gallon tank.

There are several benefits to this setup. I only have to wash out the tank and filter about six weeks. Almost all of the filter material is reusable. (Trash the floss after each use, it's cheap anyway.) It leaves more open space in your tank. When I made the upgrade to one of these, it was the best decision I ever made for myself and my pets. We couldn't go on vacation for more than a week when we had the in-tank filters. Now that's not an issue. Plus I have auto-feeders and timers on the lights. I can leave them unattended for weeks and have no fear about how they are doing. Try that with a cat or dog!

A punk rock icon turns 51

Many years ago, in what seemed like a previous life, my first band used to mess around with the song Anarchy in the UK by The Sex Pistols. When this guy Vic (nicknamed Jesus Christ for his calm demeanor and long hair) would come to our practices would break out in the best Johnny Rotten impression. He wouldn't sing anything else. To this day anytime I hear Anarchy in the UK I have to stop and remember the old days. I am old enough to remember when punks really were punks, not just some douche with eye make-up, and had their own causes.

So today, Johnny "Rotten" Lyden turns 51. I guessed he would've been older, but 30 years ago during the punk revolution he would've been around 21. Seems about right. Happy B-day, yo!





Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Wednesday, January 31, 2007

homily \HAH-muh-lee\, noun:

1. A sermon; a discourse on a religious theme.
2. A moralizing lecture or discourse.
3. An inspirational saying; also, a platitude.

Urban Word of the Day
January 31, 2007: garbage time
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=garbage+time&defid=654293
  • The closing minutes of a blowout game, when the starters have left and the bench players are playing out the clock. Usually refers to basketball, but can be used in other sports. See [garbage man].
Of course Darko scored 13 points last night. It was in garbage time, dumbass!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Turtle Tuesday: Food and Supplies

There are literally tons of products out there for turtles. I'll mention some of the ones I have and use and some alternatives.


First things first, FOOD!!!
If you have an aquatic turtle, there is one thing that love, and that's eating. Since the most common aquatic turtle for a pet are those in the slider family (that includes common sliders, cooters, maps, etc.) they all have similar needs over various times in their lives. As hatchlings they require a lot of vitamins A & D, calcium and protein. As they grow older they don't need as much protein. If you want to make it all simple, just use various turtle diets. For hatchlings I prefer the Hagen pellets due to the larger amounts of calcium and vit A it contains. But as they get older I like to vary it, so I use about all the different types of turtle food and rotate. Turtles love freeze dried krill and plankton. DO NOT GET THEM USED TO THESE. They will demand nothing but these little buggers before long. Since these dried treats have little nutrition, your pet will certainly suffer in time.

Vitamins.
As a hatchling, I recommend using a lot of vitamins in your pet's diet. An easy way to go would be taking a few pieces of turtle food, spray with liquid vitamins and then roll in powdered vit's. Even if the coatings dissolve into the water, the turtle will see some benefit. As turtles mature, you don't need to do that so often. You may notice the two plaster turtles, those aren't decorations. Those are homemade calcium blocks. If you have a hatchling or juvenile turtle, they are required equipment! Luckily they can be made at home easily and cheaply. Plaster of Paris is calcium carbonate. Just mix up a batch and pour into some mold. I have molds of turtle and frog shapes, but you can do the same with an ice cube tray. Keep one in tank at all times.

Water Treatments.
I don't care where you live, your tap water is no good for your turtle. It will need some conditioning. The first enemy, chlorine. If you are dealing with a hatchling in a small container, you have options. Simply letting an open container of tap water sit over night will be sufficient to bleed off chlorine content. But when you are dealing with over 100 gallons like I do, you need an additive. Reptisafe is one, I think there may be others. Introducing this into the water will make the chlorine evaporate faster. Add each time you drain and refill the water in your tank.

Biotizer. When you introduce this into your water, you are really setting a bacteria loose into your tank. Don't worry, it's a good bacteria. It degrades food particles and waste in the water faster, and keeps the water from getting too smelly too quickly. Add each time you add fresh water.

Salt. This is the tricky one. Salt is healthy for your turtles, just like you, up to a point. Our herp vet recommends 1 tablespoon per 5 gallons. I like to use even less since I have a diamondback terrapin in my tank. (They are brackish by nature, but can live in fresh water provided they are never introduced to salty water.) For my 125 gallon tank I will dissolve about 3-5 tablespoons of aquarium salt into a separate container and pour it in periodically as I refill the tank after a thorough cleaning. Do not add between water changes.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Tuesday, January 30, 2007

cohort \KOH-hort\, noun:

1. A group or band of people.
2. A companion; an associate.
3. A group of people sharing a common statistical factor (as age or membership in a class) in a demographic study.
4. (Roman Antiquity) A body of about 300 to 600 soldiers; the tenth part of a legion.
5. Any group or body of warriors.
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 30, 2007: homoblivious
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=homoblivious&defid=1660121
  • Not having the ability to recognize homosexuals as homosexuals; a lack of [gaydar].
"He was so homoblivious that he didn't know that guy was coming on to him."

Word of the day:...........'la piscina' [pees-THEE-nah]
English translation:.......swimming pool
Synonym(s):................ estanque

Phrase:
Pasamos la tarde en la piscina.
We spent the afternoon at the swimming pool.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Turtle Monday: Aquatic Turtle Basics


My "30 Breeder"

In my opinion, turtles are by far the easiest pet to own and maintain. That doesn't say that they require no work and no investment of money or time at all. But once you do your research and work out your plans, they can go almost on autopilot thereafter.

So where should you start?

First, see if you have the space for a setup. Even if you get a hatchling, you should be thinking about the long term. A hatchling can be kept in a small tupperware type basin for a while, but that's it. You should be thinking about the long run

WHAT DOES AN AVERAGE ADULT AQUATIC TURTLE NEED?
  1. A thirty (30) gallon "breeder" tank. That means it's wider than it is tall.
  2. A filter.
  3. A basking spot.
  4. A heat lamp.
  5. A full spectrum light.
In addition to the five basic items listed above, I also highly recommend choosing a spot for the tank close to a sink. Water needs to be replaced on a regular basis, so keeping the tank close to a sink can make your life a lot easier when it comes to siphoning out the water.

The best siphon you can buy, the Viper, or was it Asp? Some snake name...

Okay, let's discuss set up. You decide you will only get one turtle. On the turtlesale message board they tell people you need ten gallons of water per one inch of turtle shell. So if you have a single six inch turtle, you will require a sixty gallon tank. WRONG!!! That was a fable they created. I used to see them say in the mod section about how they knew they were providing the wrong info, but would rather that people provide more space than not enough. Nice way to spend people's money.

The truth:
For a single adult aquatic turtle you will only need a 30 gallon breeder, and for each additional turtle you will need an extra 10 gallons. So, if you plan on 2 adults, you need at least a 40 gallon tank; for 3 turtles, 50 gallons; and so on.


Silent Bob in his hatchling setup.

If you are starting off with a hatchling and want to tank a economic route, you will not need a filter yet, more than likely. You should be able to dump the water a couple times a day and keep the water clean so your turtle can remain healthy. But once you commit to a glass tank, or a much larger plastic bin, then you will require filtration. When you go to the pet shops they LOVE to steer you to the in-tank filters. In the beginning that might be fine, but when you have a big tank, those filters won't be able to deal with the load. I prefer canister filters. They look like canister vacuums for your tank. I have two Fluval 304 Filters for my two tanks. They do a great job, and you can find the 304 or 305 online for very reasonable prices. They cost a lot more than the in-tank filters, but save you a ton of time and effort in the long run. When I had the Fluval 3 in-tank filters I had to clean them out at least once or twice each week. Now I clean out the 304 every 6 weeks or so. You can improve their performance very easily, but I will get to that another time.

Tomorrow I will discuss other supplies.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Monday, January 29, 2007

gadabout \GAD-uh-bout\, noun:

  • Someone who roams about in search of amusement or social activity.

Urban Word of the Day

January 29, 2007: urban amish
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=urban+amish&defid=1374947

  • n. Someone who has none of the technological devices that have become a part of our daily lives, such as television, microwave, gaming platform or home computer.

I'm going to Ohio for a visit with the Urban Amish relatives. Where's my Gameboy?

Word of the day:...........'el estómago' [ehs-TOH-mah-goh]
English translation:.......stomach
Synonym(s):................~ vientre, barriga

At the hospital:
¿Te duele el estómago?
Does your stomach hurt?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Sunday January 28, 2007

maunder \MON-duhr\, intransitive verb:

1. To talk incoherently; to speak in a rambling manner.
2. To wander aimlessly or confusedly.
January 27, 2007: to the left
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=to+the+left&defid=2123846
From Beyonce's "Irreplaceable",
  1. Dismissed, dumped, broke off
  2. "Step aside," as in when a person is dumped: means to get out of one's face and life so that a new partner can be established.
  3. Indicating where the door is located, even if it is not actually located to the left -- "To the left" indicates that your exit is expected right fucking now.
BF: Baby, it wasn't me with that girl!
GF: Ain't got time for your excuses, playa.... to the left.


and for yesterday:

conflate \kuhn-FLAYT\, transitive verb:

1. To bring together; to fuse together; to join or meld.
2. To combine (as two readings of a text) into one whole.

January 28, 2007: VIP
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=VIP&defid=676850

The act of riding in the back seat of a car when the front passenger seat is available.

Tommy: "Do you want to sit up front?"
Tony C: "No, it's cool. I'm gonna ride VIP."


Friday, January 26, 2007

It's FRIDAY!!!!!

Party time!

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Friday January 16, 2007

overweening \oh-vur-WEE-ning\, adjective:

  1. Overbearing; arrogant; presumptuous.
  2. Excessive; immoderate; exaggerated.
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 26, 2007: retro shopping
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=retro+shopping&defid=2206120
  • To compare prices for an item after you've already purchased it.
Jim couldn't resist buying that 2001 Harley as soon as he saw it. After a little retro shopping, he was thrilled to realize he also got a great deal on it.

www.spanish-word-a-day.com
Word of the day:...........'las albóndigas' [al-BON-dee-gas]
English translation:........ meat balls

In the restaurant:
De segundo, queremos albóndigas y pollo.
For the second dish we would like meat balls and chicken.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Turtle Thursday: Dante Vid

I will have a whole week of turtle info next week. I'm compiling info and stats for proper turtle care, as well as pics of my entire set-up, something I've never posted before. For now you can watch this 9 second video of Dante performing in the 125 gallon tank:

Another celeb in a bikini


I wonder what beach the paparrazzi is chilling at that they keep snapping these shots? Now they scored some Penelope Cruz pics. More about this on Egotastic.

So You Think You Know Everything

Another from my email:

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

No word in the English language rhymes with mouth, orange, silver or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "MT."

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our noses and ears never stop growing.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous"; tremendous, horrendous, stupendous and hazardous.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Cows and Kerry

From the email box, wait for the punchline:

A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a YSL suit, Fendi shoes, Bvlgari sunglasses and an Armani tie leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant to the Kerry campaign." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business...

...Now give me back my dog!

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Thursday, January 25, 2007

dissimulate \dih-SIM-yuh-layt\, transitive verb:

  1. To conceal under a false appearance.
  2. To hide one's feelings or intentions; to put on a false appearance; to feign; to pretend.

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 25, 2007: ladyprimer
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ladyprimer&defid=2206416
  1. Makeup; mascara, eye liner, blush, lipstick/gloss, etc.
  2. A girl who wears an excessive amount of makeup.
"She wears an excessive amount of ladyprimer."
"That bitch's such a ladyprimer."


Word of the day:...........'la madrugada' [mah-druh-GAH-dah]
English translation:.......daybreak, dawn
Synonym(s):................amanecer, alba

Phrase:
Me desperté de madrugada.
I woke up at daybreak.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

WTF Wednesday: Jenna vs Tito

The most disturbing thing I've seen in a while:


Pr0n Star Jenna Jameson (who doesn't loook like Jenna Jameson anymore) with her boyfriend, Ultimate Fighter, Tito Ortiz who appears to have healed well after getting the shit beaten out of him a month ago by the Ice Man, Chuck Liddell. Who paired these two off?

Happy Hour

A quickie from my email box:

The Irishman saw the sign at the restaurant. It read "Happy hour special: Lobster Tail & Beer."
Saints be praised!" he says to himself, "Me three favorite things".

Hasselhoff of t3h day: Premier Hoff?

What would you do if you're a hot young actress?

Apparently, for Jessica Biel, you spend as much time on a beach on a bikini. Not a bad life.

More on Egotastic.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Wednesday January 24, 2007

inscrutable \in-SKROO-tuh-buhl\, adjective:

  • Difficult to fathom or understand; difficult to be explained or accounted for satisfactorily; obscure; incomprehensible; impenetrable.
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 24, 2007: surge protectors
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=surge+protectors&defid=2206460
  • Those who oppose an increase in troops in [Iraq], like most Democrats and a few Republicans.
Democrats who have jumped in to run for President in [2008] want to prevent Bush from sending 20,000 more kids to Iraq. They are the surge protectors.

Word of the day:................'la jarra' [HHAH-rah]
English translation:.............jug

Phrase:
¿Nos trae una jarra de agua?
Could you bring us a jug of water?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Some new T-Shirt Hell

This one rocked my face:


More new stuff here:
http://www.tshirthell.com/miscpages/nsn/newshirt_012207_news.htm

Study: Beer contains female hormones

From my email box:

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
  1. Argued over nothing.
  2. Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
  3. Gained weight.
  4. Talked excessively without making sense.
  5. Became overly emotional.
  6. Couldn't drive.
  7. Failed to think rationally.
  8. Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer! ;)

Shocking news item of the day...

Eva Longoria looks great without clothes on.


Okay, it's not really news nor shocking, but she does look good. More on Egotastic.

A funny thing happened at the bar....

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot.

The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered "Oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', interstellar space travel', 'the latest medical break thrus, etc.......

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tack.

He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."

Again it was superb! The robot again asked "What is your IQ sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh about 100."

So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this week end.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50."

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,

"A-r-e....... .. y-o-u-r..... ....p-e-o- p-l-e.... ....g-o-i- n-g...... .... t-o........ n-o-m-i-n-a- t-e...... ....H-i-l- l-a-r-y-?"

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Tuesday, January 23, 2007

supine \soo-PYN; SOO-pyn\, adjective:

  1. Lying on the back, or with the face upward.
  2. Indolent; listless; inactive; mentally or morally lethargic.
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 23, 2007: Gore Effect
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gore+Effect&defid=2092861
  • The phenomenon that leads to unseasonably cold temperatures, driving rain, hail, or snow whenever [Al Gore] visits an area to discuss global warming. Hence, the Gore Effect.
  1. Australia, November 2006: Al Gore is visiting two weeks before summer begins. The Gore Effect strikes: "Ski resort operators gazed at the snow in amazement. Parents took children out of school and headed for the mountains. Cricketers scurried amid bullets of hail as Melburnians traded lunchtime tales of the incredible cold." (The Age)
  2. New York, March 2004: "Gore chose January 15, 2004, one of the coldest days in New York City's history, to rail against the Bush administration and global warming skeptics... Global warming, Gore told a startled audience, is causing record cold temperatures." (NY Environment News)


Word of the day:...........'la postal' [poss-TAL]
English translation:.......postcard

Phrase:
Quiero mandar esta postal a Inglaterra.
I want to send this postcard to England.


Spanish saying:
Ya que estamos en el baile, bailemos.
In for a penny, in for a pound.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Let's cheer up Blue Monday...

...With more Jessica Biel....

... In a bikini! NICE!

More on Egotastic.

Caught!


Sean "Puff Daddy" "P Diddy" Combs was caught scoping an eyeful of Jessica Biel's bosom. Thanks to the Superficial for this funny pic.

Blue Monday

All day one of the local news stations has been pressing that today is Blue Monday, the most depressed day of year. Due to a usual combination of factors: dreary weather, broken resolutions, holiday debt, etc, today is customarily the day that people face up to their problems and brood over it.

I ask, what will that accomplish? If things aren't going great, sulking won't solve anything. Turn that frown upside down and soldier on!

This topic reminds me of that old song from the 1980's

Blue Monday
by New Order
How does it feel
To treat me like you do
When youve laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are

I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now how do I feel

Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They will turn away no more

And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But Im quite sure that youll tell me
Just how I should feel today

I see a ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasnt for your misfortunes
Id be a heavenly person today

And I thought I was mistaken
And I thought I heard you speak
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now how should I feel

Now I stand here waiting

I thought I told you to leave me
While I walked down to the beach
Tell me how does it feel
When your heart grows cold
(grows cold, grows cold, grows cold)
And here's a vid from the recent cover by Orgy

Top Box Office: 01/22/2007

  1. Stomp the Yard
  2. Night at the Museum
  3. Dreamgirls
  4. The Pursuit of Happyness
  5. Freedom Writers
  6. Pan's Labyrinth
  7. The Queen
  8. Children of Men
  9. Arthur and the Invisibles
  10. Alpha Dog

Look forward to Mondays!

Look forward to Mondays!



She's a convincing Lara Croft this week.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Monday January 22, 2007

censure \SEN-shur\, noun:

  1. The act of blaming or finding fault with and condemning as wrong; reprehension; blame.
  2. An official reprimand or expression of disapproval.

transitive verb:

  1. To find fault with and condemn as wrong; to blame; to criticize severely.
  2. To express official disapproval of.
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 22, 2007: king kong
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=king+kong&defid=2048687
  • A very loud car stereo system that includes amps and sub woofers.
"If you hear me 'fore you see me I got King Kong in the trunk!" - Jibbs


Word of the day:...........'huir' [uhEER]
English translation:.......to flee

Conjugation: Presente
yo........................huyo
tú........................huyes
él, ella, Ud.............huye
nosotros.................huimos
vosotros.................huís
ellos, ellas, Uds........huyen
Phrase:
Miles de personas intentaron huir.
Thousands of people tried to flee.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Sunday, January 21, 2007

extemporaneous \ek-stem-puh-RAY-nee-us\, adjective:

  1. Composed, performed, or uttered on the spur of the moment, or without previous study; unpremeditated; impromptu.
  2. Prepared beforehand but delivered without notes or text.
  3. Skilled at or given to extemporaneous speech.
  4. Provided, made, or put to use as an expedient; makeshift.

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 21, 2007: musk up
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=musk+up&defid=1912000
  • The application of cologne to a man's body, generally by the man himself.
From the movie 'Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy' 2004
Brian Fantana: (about Veronica) I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up. (opens cologne cabinet)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Saturday, January 20, 2007

pettifogger \PET-ee-fog-ur\, noun:

1. A petty, unscrupulous lawyer; a shyster.
2. A person who quibbles over trivia.

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 20, 2007: swagger jacker
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=swagger+jacker&defid=1596583
  • A person who steals someone elses [flow], lines, jokes, [swagger].
- Ay bro, I just [spit] this whole song
- Na you didn't [hova], I heard [biggie] say you a swagger jacker

Friday, January 19, 2007

WTF Friday: Mormon or Ninja?

Extreme Weather Hat

They say it's the BEST winter hat ever. It's a "6 in 1" fleece device that can be used in various configurations to serve your needs. Looks interesting:

http://www.bestwinterhat.com/

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Friday January 19, 2007

yeasty \YEE-stee\, adjective:

  1. Of, pertaining to, or resembling yeast.
  2. Not yet settled or formed; immature or incomplete.
  3. Marked by agitation or change.
  4. Frothy or trivial; frivolous.
  5. Full of vitality; exuberant.
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 19, 2007: rebooty
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rebooty&defid=2178138
  1. noun. A [booty call] made with an [ex].
  2. noun. A renewed relationship with an [ex].
After they broke up, Joe still called Kate for some rebooty on weekends.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Friggin Snow!

Every moron in NY has been making a big deal about Global Warming this winter. New York has been enjoying an extended Indian Summer. We had temperatures in the 70's in January, while other parts of the country have been suffering with liberal dumpings from snow and ice storms.

"Oh, it's global warming and it's TERRIBLE!" empty-headed New Yorkers have been quoted as saying on the radio. All the while I was thinking, when the cold weather comes back with a vengeance, let's see how terrible the warmth REALLY WAS!

Sure enough yesterday ushered in the first sub-freezing temperatures of 2007 in the area. Guess what? People are complaining IT'S TOO COLD!
MORONS! Make up your minds.

So for most of the area, the first flakes of snow have either fallen today, or will fall tonight.
Okay now?
Satisfied?
Winter's here.
Now shut up.

Turtle Thursday: Roxy needs a new home

Roxy has been with us since the beginning. Stacey bought him as a "replacement" turtle from a pet shop on Myrtle Avenue. He was a hatchling in amongst a tank filled with red eared slider hatchlings. We requested one and the employee grabbed one that he chose and waved a key in front of the animal's face.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"To see if he snaps," was the response. The little guy didn't, so they put him in a box for us to bring home. We thought this turtle might be a female, so we chose the name Roxy, after Roxanne Spalding from Gen13. Yeah, I was a comic book fan. That was some ten years ago.

Over the years we figured out that this turtle was a male, but the name stuck, too bad for the little guy, but he doesn't know any better.

Everything seemed fine until Stacey and I decided to combine our tanks after we were married. Her two big females, Dot and Stripe, and my guy Tiny had distinguished themselves as vicious residents in the tank and had to be given away right away. We thought that our problems with injured turtles had ended when those three had new homes, but it started up again. It didn't take long to figure out that Roxy was trying to establish himself as the dominant male RES in the tank, and was biting everyone else. We isolated Roxy and peace in the tank was restored.

Now we have five large turtles living in perfect harmony in our 125 gallon tank. Roxy resides in the 30 breeder "isolation tank" where he can do no harm. By himself, he's a great pet. He's bright and alert, very healthy, and fairly low maintenance. He just doesn't play well with others.

If you are near Long Island, NY, or know of someone in the area who can provide a good home for a good little guy, please comment to this blog entry. I use comment moderation, so I can see messages and not publish them.

Hoax-Slayer Issue 68: January 2007

The January issue of the Hoax-Slayer Newsletter is now available online. To read the new issue, please click the link below:


This month's topics:
  • Hitman Payoff Scam Email
  • Grand Canyon Leap
  • Floating Volcanic Stones and New Island in the South Pacific
  • Outstanding Computer Security Guidebook - The Hacker's Nightmare
  • Incredible Music Machine Prank - University of Iowa
  • ATM Fraud Warning - XRAY Film Card Slot Trap
  • Cold-fx Cancer Warning Hoax
  • Beck's Beer Promotion Scam
  • Tampa Bay Beach Sea Monster
  • Dropped $5 Bill Serial Killer Warning Email
  • Image Spam On The Rise
  • Fun With Flash - Falling Girl

Somnoplasty

From: http://www.answers.com/somnoplasty

Somnoplasty
Somnoplasty is comprised of the Latin root somnus meaning sleep, and the Greek word plastia meaning molding or formation. Somnoplasty is a medical treatment approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to treat three conditions: habitual snoring, chronic nasal obstruction, and obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) using radio frequency (RF) energy to shrink the tissues that are causing the problem.

Somnoplasty is typically an out-patient procedure where you visit the office for a 30-45 minute appointment and the can go about your day.

The patient is given a local anesthetic and a special electrode is used that delivers RF energy under the surface of the tissue is used. The electrode is used to administer controlled, low-power RF energy to create coagulative (clotting) lesions beneath the mucosa (lining) of the targeted areas:
  • For chronic nasal obstruction the turbinates are targeted
  • For habitual snoring the soft palate and the uvula are targeted
  • For obstructive sleep apnea the base of the tongue and other airway structures are targeted
  • (the actual areas targeted depends on each individuals specific anatomy, so the above are just general associations.
After 6-8 weeks the lesions are naturally resorbed, which reduces the volume of the tissue while stiffening what remains. When this occurs the airway is enlarged, allowing a less-restricted flow of air. Several follow-up treatments are usually required to obtain the desired results

Common Side Effects
  • swelling
  • discomfort
History
Somnoplasty was developed by a company named Somnus Medical Technologies, and received FDA clearance in November of 1998 for the treatment of obstructive sleep apnea.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Thursday, January 18, 2007

cudgel \KUH-juhl\, noun:

  1. A short heavy stick used as a weapon; a club.
  2. To beat with or as if with a cudgel.

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

January 18, 2007: dap
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dap&defid=551773
  • The knocking of fists together as a greeting, or form of respect.
He gave me a dap when we greeted.

Word of the day:...........'el equipo' [eh-KEE-poh]
English translation:.......team, also: equipment

Expression:
'caerse con todo el equipo'
  • to fail miserably, to fail in every possible way
  • (Lit.: to fall down with all the equipment)
Phrase:
Mi equipo favorito perdió contra el Barcelona
.
My favourite team lost against Barcelona.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Weekend box office

Top Box Office
1.Stomp the Yard
2.Night at the Museum
3.The Pursuit of Happyness
4.Dreamgirls
5.Freedom Writers
6.Children of Men
7.Alpha Dog
8.Primeval
9.Arthur and the Invisibles
10.Charlotte's Web

Hasselhoff Wednesday: Need a haircut?

Dig #6?

Above pic from an old Maxim or Stuff layout.

Tricia Helfer, aka Cylon model #6 from Battlestar Gallactica is in the new issue of Playboy. I've never seen the show, but she looks like a good reason to start. I haven't seen the mag, but if you're a fan, this is your time. Out on stands now.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Wednesday, January 17, 2007

foofaraw \FOO-fuh-raw\, noun:

1. Excessive or flashy ornamentation or decoration.
2. A fuss over a matter of little importance.

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

January 17, 2007: Treeware
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Treeware&defid=906096

  • Documents made of paper, like an [anablog], in contrast to electronic documents.

Print out the treeware and we can send it via [snail mail].

www.spanish-word-a-day.com

Word of the day:................'quince' [KEEN-theh]
English translation:.............fifteen

Phrase:
Los quince hombres sabían lo que les esperaba afuera.
The fifteen men knew what was waiting for them outside.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

MEN HAVE BETTER FRIENDS

Women's Friends:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.

The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.


Men's Friends:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there.

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Tuesday, January 16, 2007

imprecation \im-prih-KAY-shuhn\, noun:

  1. The act of imprecating, or invoking evil upon someone.
  2. A curse.

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
January 16, 2007: blogorrhea
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blogorrhea&defid=1072873
  • To write a [blog] entry just for the sake of posting an entry, not because you have done anything interesting today.
I couldn't really think of anthing good to blog about, so my last post was real blogorrhea.


Word of the day:...........'la habilidad' [ah-bee-lee-DAHD]
English translation:.......skill, cleverness
Synonym(s):................capacidad, aptitud

Phrase:
Nos impresionó su habilidad al volante.
We were impressed with his driving ability.

Monday, January 15, 2007

THOUGHTS FOR 2007

FROM GORDON:

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions of cows, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are? Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Look forward to Mondays!

Look forward to Mondays!


Click to view Teresa's Pic of the Week.

MLK

From http://www.answers.com/topic/martin-luther-king-day

Martin Luther King Day

The Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. , often called Martin Luther King Day, is a United States holiday honoring the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., observed on the third Monday of January each year, around the time of King's birthday, January 15. It is the only United States federal holiday commemorating an African American and one of only four to commemorate an individual person.

Martin Luther King Day was founded as a holiday promoted by labour unions in contract negotiations. After King's death in 1968, Rep. John Conyers introduced a bill in Congress to make King's birthday a national holiday, highlighting King's activism on behalf of trade unionists. Unions did most of the promotion for the holiday throughout the 1970s. In 1976, trade unionists helped to elect Jimmy Carter, who endorsed the King Day bill. After that endorsement, union influence in the King holiday campaign declined, and the King Center turned to support from the corporate community and the general public. The success of this strategy was cemented when musician Stevie Wonder released the single "Happy Birthday" to popularize the campaign in 1980 and hosted the Rally for Peace Press Conference in 1981. 6 million signatures were collected for a petition to Congress to pass the law, termed by a 2006 The Nation article as "...the largest petition in favor of an issue in US history."

Opposition to the bill was led by Senator Jesse Helms, who questioned whether King was important enough to receive such an honor. He was also critical of King's opposition to the Vietnam War and accused King of having Communist connections.

President Ronald Reagan was also opposed to the holiday. He relented in his opposition only after Congress passed the King Day Bill with an overwhelming, veto-proof majority (338 to 90 in the House of Representatives and 78 to 22 in the Senate).

At the White House Rose Garden on November 2, 1983, Reagan signed a bill creating a federal holiday to honor King. It was observed for the first time on January 20, 1986.

On January 17, 2000, for the first time, Martin Luther King Day was officially observed in all 50 U.S. states.[2] The day is marked by demonstrations for peace, social justice and racial and class equality, as well as a national day of volunteer community service.

On January 16, 2006 Greenville County, South Carolina was the last county in the U.S. to officially adopt Martin Luther King Day as a paid holiday.[citation needed]

In Utah, Martin Luther King Day is also known as Human Rights Day; similarly, in Arizona and New Hampshire, Martin Luther King Day is also known as Civil Rights Day.

Although the day is a federal holiday and a state holiday in all states, it is usually not observed by small private companies except for banks. Some large corporations close their operations (more so than on Veterans Day or Columbus Day, which are also federal holidays, but less so than on holidays such as Memorial Day or Labor Day when virtually all corporations are closed), but small shops, restaurants, and grocery stores tend to remain open. Overall, in 2006, 31% of employers are giving employees the day off, with 35% of large employers over 1,000 giving time off and 29% of smaller employers giving time off. The observance is most popular amongst nonprofit organizations and least popular among factories and manufacturers. The reasons for this have varied, ranging from the recent addition of the holiday (each year more businesses are closed than the year before) to its occurrence just two weeks after the week between Christmas and New Year's Day, when many businesses are closed for part of or sometimes all of the week. Additionally, some schools and places of higher education are closed for classes; others remain open but may hold seminars or celebrations of Dr. King's message.

Some Words of Days Past

Dictionary.com seems to be lagging, only sending the emails out two or three times a week. It's fun to read these and see how many you knew before it arrived in the email box.

Word of the Day for Monday, January 15, 2007


eddy \ED-ee\, noun:

1. A current of air or water running in a direction contrary to the main current, or moving in a circular direction; a whirlpool.
2. A tendency or current (as of opinion or history) contrary to or separate from a main current.
3. To move in an eddy or as if in an eddy; to move in a circle.
4. To cause to move in an eddy or as if in an eddy.


Word of the Day for Saturday, January 13, 2007


tractable \TRAK-tuh-buhl\, adjective:

1. Capable of being easily led, taught, or managed; docile.
2. Easily handled, managed, or worked; malleable.

Word of the Day for Sunday, January 14, 2007


bromide \BROH-myd\, noun:

1. A compound of bromine and another element or a positive organic radical.
2. A dose of potassium bromide taken as a sedative.
3. A dull person with conventional thoughts.
4. A commonplace or conventional saying.


Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

January 15, 2007: nametake
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nametake&defid=1704057
The reverse of namesake; a person you are named after.
The monk Martin Luther was the nametake of Dr. King.

January 14, 2007: shop naked
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shop+naked&defid=2143188
To shop for items online; to buy things from an online store.
I think I'm going to save myself a lot of holiday shopping hassles and just shop naked.

January 13, 2007: slap your plastics
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slap+your+plastics&defid=2152673
To insert contacts in your eyes.
John said, "Slap your plastics and let's go to the bar."

Word of the day:...........'durar' [duh-RAR]
English translation:.......to last

Conjugation: Pretérito

yo.......................duré
tú........................duraste
él, ella, Ud.............duró
nosotros................duramos
vosotros................durasteis
ellos, ellas, Uds........duraron

Phrase:
¿Cuánto tiempo dura la visita?
How long does the tour last?

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Can you help a dog or a cat?

My friend Teresa Noreen is trying to find new homes for a couple of her pets, both pictured below. If you, or someone you know, live near Atlanta, GA, and would like to adopt a cat (the white one) or a dog (a Rotweiler), click here for details.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Blonde at the shrink

A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist' s couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained.

"I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too."

The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"

The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"

Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Friday, January 12, 2007

incarnadine \in-KAR-nuh-dyn\, adjective:

1. Having a fleshy pink color.
2. Red; blood-red.
transitive verb:
1. To make red or crimson.


Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

January 12, 2007: bio-accessory
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bio-accessory&defid=2184437

  • a living being used as a fashion accessory, like a handbag or a scarf, except that it's alive; often dressed up in cutesy little outfits.
Paris Hilton rarely goes out without her bio-accessory, Tinkerbell the Chihuahua. Britney Spears used to carry around her bio-accessory, Bit Bit, until she started carrying around babies instead. Why didn't Kevin carry the dog? Maybe that's why she divorced him: he wouldn't carry the little dog.

Word of the day:...........'la cartera' [car-TEH-rah]
English translation:........ wallet
Synonym(s):.................billetera, monedero

Phrase:

¿Has perdido tu cartera?
Have you lost your wallet?