Money Joke

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune on the eventual death of his widowed father, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment advisors' seminar he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years my father will die and I'll inherit £200 million."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three weeks later she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

coxcomb \ KOKS-kohm \ , noun;

1. a conceited, foolish dandy; pretentious fop. 
2. Archaic. head; pate. 
3. Obsolete. cockscomb ( def 2 ). 

Origin: Coxcomb is a corrupted spelling of cock's comb , the comb of a rooster, hence the badge resembling it that was worn in the cap of a professional fool or jester, hence the wearer of the cap, hence a fool or a vain and silly man. 

 

Fuck You Tax

• A non-discretionary charge or fee placed on orders or purchases from certain companies, frequently ticket retailers and cinemas. The charge never relates to a specific cost incurred by the company and is purely an additional fee to boost profits. So called as the company in question knows the consumer has no option but to pay, so their charging it is the company saying, "Fuck You, Pay it."

$1.50 'Booking fee' on my cinema tickets - that's just a 'Fuck You tax'!

 

History

• Napoleon Bonaparte: abdicated as emperor of France and was banished to Elba (1814)
• The Tramp: Charlie Chaplin's comic silent film was released (1915)
• Jackie Robinson: broke the color barrier in major league baseball, appearing in his first exhibition game (1947)
• 1968 Civil Rights Act: LBJ signed into law an act prohibiting discrimination in selling or renting housing
• Uganda: Idi Amin's military regime was overthrown (1979)

Birthdays

• Lizzie P. Bliss 1864 - Co-founder of New York City's Museum of Modern Art
• Lou Holtz 1893 - Comedian, actor
• Dean G. Acheson 1893
• Percy Julian 1899 - Scientist
• Dale Messick 1906 - Cartoonist ("Brenda Starr")
• Paul Douglas 1907 - Actor
• Jane Bolin 1908 - Attorney, first black woman to graduate from Yale School of Law, first black, female judge
• John Levy 1912 - Jazz musician (George Shearing quintet)
• Oleg Cassini 1913 - Fashion designer
• Cameron Mitchell 1918
• Jean-Claude Servan-Schreiber 1918
• Dorothy Shay 1921 - Singer, actress
• Ralph Blaze 1922 - Guitarist (with Stan Kenton)
• Ethel Kennedy (Skakel) 1928 - Wife of U.S. Attorney General Robert Kennedy
• Johnny Sheffield 1931 - Actor
• Joel Grey 1932 - Singer (Katz), dancer, actor ("Cabaret"), actress Jennifer Grey's father
• Richard Berry 1935
• Louise Lasser 1939 - Actress ("Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman", "Slither")
• Ellen Goodman 1941 - Syndicated columnist
• John Milius 1944 - Director, screenwriter
• Joe Beauchamp 1944 - Football player
• Meshach Taylor 1947 - Actor ("Designing Women")
• Peter Riegert 1947 - Actor ("The Mask")
• Bill Irwin 1950 - Actor ("Hot Shots!", "Popeye"), choreographer
• Stever George 1951 - Football player
• Sid Monge 1951 - Baseball player
• Chris Difford 1954 - Musician (Squeeze)
• Neville Staple 1956 - Musician (The Specials)
• Jim Lauderdale 1957 - Country singer, songwriter
• Daryl Simmons 1957 - Songwriter, producer
• Stuart (William) Adamson 1958 - Musician (Big Country)
• Lucky Vanous 1961 - Actor
• Steve Azar 1964 - Country singer
• Nigel Pulsford 1965 - Musician (Bush)
• Lisa Stansfield 1966 - Singer, songwriter
• Delroy Pearson 1970 - Musician (Five Star)
• Dylan Keefe 1970 - Musician (Marcy Playground)
• Jason Varitek 1972 - Baseball player
• Tricia Helfer 1974
• Mark Teixeira 1980 - Baseball player
  Alessandra Ambrosio - 1981
• Joss Stone 1987 - Singer

 
  

 

  

   

  

 

 

 

Rock out, Apart

The Cure - Apart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKAL5gFE4Ks

he waits for her to understand

but she won't understand at all

she waits all night for him to call

but he won't call anymore

he waits to hear her say

forgive

but she just drops her pearl-black eyes

and prays to hear him say

i love you

but he tells no more lies

he waits for her to sympathize

but she won't sympathize at all

she waits all night to feel his kiss

but always wakes alone

he waits to hear her say

forget

but she just hangs her head in pain

and prays to hear him say

no more

i'll never leave again

how did we get this far apart?

we used to be so close together

how did we get this far apart?

i thought this love would last forever

he waits for her to understand

but she won't understand at all

she waits all night for him to call

but we won't call

he waits to hear her say

forgive

but she just drops her pearl-black eyes

and prays to hear him say

i love you

but he tells no more lies

how did we get this far apart?

we used to be so close together

how did we get this far apart?

i thought this love would last forever

WTF Friday: DINE!

What do you feed these guys???

Friday, April 10, 2026

vigilant \ VIJ-uh-luhnt \ , adjective; 

1. keenly watchful to detect danger; wary: a vigilant sentry. 
2. ever awake and alert; sleeplessly watchful.

Origin: Vigilant has been around in English since the 1400s. It comes from the Latin vigilāre meaning "to be watchful." 

 

Irregardless

• Without lack of disregard.

Joey: Irregardless, she's a [batch].

Beth: Irregardless isn't even a word.

Joey: Yes, it is. It means without lack of disregard.

History

• ASPCA: was founded in New York by Henry Bergh to prevent cruelty to animals (1866)
• Titanic: luxury liner set out from Southampton, England, heading for New York on its ill-fated maiden voyage (1912)
• Emiliano Zapata: Mexican revolutionary leader known for his battle cry of "land and liberty" was killed by soldiers (1919)
• The Great Gatsby: F. Scott Fitzgerald's most popular novel was published (1925)
• The Beatles: Paul McCartney announced the group's disbandment (1970)
• euthanasia: the Netherlands legalized mercy killings and physician-assisted suicide for patients enduring unmanageable pain or terminal illness (2001)
• Amber Alert: US House passed a bill establishing a system for alerting the public about missing or abducted children (2003)

Birthdays

• James V (Scotland) 1512
• Christian Friedrich Samuel Hahnemann 1755 - German physician that pioneered homeopathic medicine
• William Hazlitt 1778 - English writer, essayist, philosopher and critic
• Commodore Matthew Perry 1794
• Lew Wallace 1827 - U.S. novelist ("Ben Hur")

  
• William Booth 1829 - Founder of Salvation Army, author ("In Darkets England")
• Joseph Pulitzer 1847 - Publisher, his will left $2 million for a fund which established annual prizes for literature, drama, music and journalism
• George Arliss 1868 - Actor
• Frances Perkins (Mrs. Paul Caldwell Wilson) 1882 - first woman U.S. presidential cabinet member: Secretary of Labor
• Bernard Gimbel 1885 - Merchant (Gimbels Department Stores)
• Martin Denny 1911 - Composer, arranger, pianist
• Harry Morgan 1915 - Actor ("M*A*S*H")
• Robert Woodard 1917 - Scientist
• Sheb Wooley 1921 - Singer, songwriter, comedian

  
• Chuck (Kevin Joseph) Connors 1921 - Actor ("The Rifleman")
• Liz Sheridan 1929 - Actress ("Seinfeld")
• Max Von Sydow 1929 - Actor ("Dune", "Flash Gordon")
• Omar Sharif (Michael Shalhoub) 1932 - Actor ("Dr. Zhivago", "Lawrence of Arabia")
• David Halverstam 1934 - Author
• John Madden 1936 - Football player, coach, sports personality-analyst
• Bobbie Smith 1936 - Musician (The Spinners)
• Don Meredith 1938 - Football player
• Paul Edward Theroux 1941 - Author
• Bob "Bull" Watson 1946 - Baseball player
• Bunny Livingston Wailer 1947 - Musician, singer, songwriter (Bob Marley and the Wailers)
• Mel Blount 1962 - Football player

  
• Ken Griffey Sr. 1950 - Baseball player
• Dave Peveret 1950 - Musician (Foghat)
• Steven Seagal 1951 - Actor ("Out for Justice")
• Terry Roche 1953 - Musician (The Roches)
• Peter MacNicol 1954 - Actor ("Ghostbusters 2", "Chicago Hope", "24", "Ally McBeal")
• Steven Gustafson 1957 - Musician (10,000 Maniacs)
• Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds 1958 - Singer, producer
• Steve Garey 1959 - Pianist
• Brian Setzer 1959 - Musician (Stray Cats)
• Afrika Bambaataa 1960 - Rapper
• Katrina Leskanich 1960 - Singer (Katrina and the Waves)
• Jeb Adams 1961 - Actor
• Cathy Turner 1962

  
• Reni 1964 - Musician (Stone Roses)
• Tim "Herb" Alexander 1965 - Musician (Primus)
• Orlando Jones 1968 - Actor, comedian
• Kenny Lattimore 1970 - Singer
• Shemekia Copeland 1979 - Singer
• Laura Bell Bundy 1981 - Actress, singer
• Chyler Leigh 1982 - Actress ("Grey's Anatomy")
• Ryan Merriman 1983 - Actor
• Mandy Moore 1984 - Singer, actress ("A Walk to Remember")
• Haley Joel Osment 1988 - Actor ("The Sixth Sense")

• Daisy Ridley 1992 Actress (Star Wars)
• Leon Kowalski 2017 (Replicant)

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