Do I look like a terrorist?

This morning I walk into the subway station ahead of schedule. Since all the schools are closed and this is a popular week for vacation time the roads are all pretty empty and moving nicely despite the precipitation.

As I headed to the turnstyles I see the "random" Police bag search team over by the corner where I enter. I knew what was coming up next. As I strolled over I looked directly at the trio of cops and they flagged me down to step up to the table.

"I expected you guys to pick me out, as I'm the polar opposite of what people perceive to be a terrorist," I say jokingly with a smile on my face as I start opening my bag. There were three officers at the table, a young guy to the left of me, another dude in the middle and a woman to the right.

"Not necessarily," said the officer in the middle, "you ever see 'Splinter Cell' on TV?"

"Nah, I haven't. But it's okay. You're just doing your job and it's fine with me," I told him. I noticed he's giving a good look at the contents of my bag. I had two umbrellas (one is on it's last legs and is bound to break when I least expect it), some papers, and a portable game. Figuring that they were curious about the black device I decided I'd be better off showing them what it is. "I hope you don't find my electronic Sudoku suspicious. I only got just it for Christmas!" I said as I withdrew it from my bag.

This caught the attention of the middle and female cops. "What! I need to know where to get one of those. I LOVE that game!" said the middle cop. I noticed he had a ribbon indicating that he was at the World Trade Center. I also noticed that the female cop was really hot; she was possibly the hottest cop ever living or on the screen. "I might need to impound it for closer observation!" the WTC veteran continued.

"I think my wife said she got it online, beyond that she told me nothing," I informed the officers. I saw them eyeing the outer pouch so I replaced the sudoku and added, "I imagine you want to see in here, too." I opened the pouch and pulled out the book contained within. "Just a book."

"Anything good?" the officer to the left asked.

"Hmm," I started, not knowing how to answer without sounding like a fool. "It's a story about a war between vampires and werewolves."

"Oh!" exclaimed the hot chick cop, "sounds like that movie Underworld!"

"Funny that you say that, it's the prequel to that movie. It's the background story," I told them.

"The new movie's coming out," hottie cop added.

"Indeed! I got the book for it yesterday. I can't wait to read through it!" I told them.

With a sly smirk on his countenance, the WTC veteran inquired, "But do you like the movie, or Kate Beckinsale in the tight black leather?"

"I think it must be the movie," I answered thoughtfully, "I kinda don't care for how Kate looks outside of that role."

"What about in Van Helsing?" hottie cop pointed out, "she looked good in that one too!"

Middle cop and I agreed with her. "Okay then, anytime she's wearing tight pants, then it's worth seeing," the middle cop stated.

"But the accent?" said the yummy hotness which was the chick cop.

"Oh yeah. That. Well, it's a give and take, I suppose," I responded, rubbing my grizzled chin and appearing deep in concentration over this subject. And with that the four of us chuckled a little and they let me go about my business with waves and good-byes all around.

I guess the mild inconvenience of the search was fine as long as it was at least somewhat entertaining in the process.