Zombie Jokes

Q: When do zombies go to sleep? 
A: When they are dead tired. 

Q: Why did the zombie ignore all his Facebook friends? A: He was still DIGESTING all of his followers on Twitter! 

Q: Did you hear about the big zombie party? 
A: It was DEAD & full of STIFFS! 

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? 
A: His ghoul friend 

Q: Where do most zombies live? 
A: On DEAD end streets! 

Q: Who won World War Z? 
A: Nobody, it was a DEAD tie! 

Q: Why did the zombie become a roadie for Bon Jovi? 
A: Because the sign said "Help Wanted Dead Or Alive". 

Q: Why did the zombie stop teaching? 
A: He crossed his PUPILs! 

Q: What did the zombie say after he found his girlfriend cheating on him? 
A: You're DEAD to me! 

Q: What do you call a bee that never dies? 
A: A zomBEE! 

Q: What do zombies say before a fight? 
A: Do you want a PIECE of me? 

Q: Why did the zombie go crazy? 
A: He had LOST his mind! 

Q: How do zombies eat computers? 
A: They use megaBITES! 

Q: What does a Zombie call Chinese people? 
A: Take Out 

Q: What did the zombie do after he dumped his girlfriend? 
A: He wiped his Ass! 

Q: What is a zombie's favorite shampoo? 
A: Head & Shoulders! 

Q: What kind of streets do zombies like best? 
A: DEAD ends! 

Q: What did the Zombie say to the other Zombie after he was hit by a semi? 
A: You look smashing. 

Q: Where do zombies go swimming? A: The DEAD Sea! 

Q: What does it take to become a zombie? A: DEADication! 

Q: How do zombies tell their future? 
A: With their HORRORscope! 

Q: What do zombies like to eat at barbeques? 
A: HALLOWEENies! 

Q: What do you call zombies that can't run? 
A: The Walking Dead 

Q: What is a zombie's favorite mode of transportation? 
A: A blood vessel 

Q: What is a zombie's favorite sauce with brainz? 
A: GRAVE-Y 

Q: Why did the zombie pour nacho cheese all over peoples feet? 
A: He wanted DoriTOES! (Doritos) 

Q: Why did the Zombie read the New York Times? 
A: He heard it had great circulation. 

Q: What kind of makeup do zombies wear? 
A: Mas-scare-a. 

Q: Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road? 
A: He had LOST his GUTS! 

Q: What would "The Walking Dead" be called if it was written by George Lucas? 
A: Stab Wars. 

Q: What is a zombie's favorite football team? 
A: The Washington DEADskins! 

Q: Why did the zombie eat a light bulb? 
A: Because he wanted a light snack. 

Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place? 
A: With SCARE spray! 

Q: What is the highest form of compliment you can give a Zombie? 
A: Boy do you look to be in grave condition. 

Q: What do you get when you cross a zombie with a snowman? 
A: FrostBITE! 

Q: What is a zombie's favorite mode of transportation? 
A: SCAREplanes! 

Q: What type of dogs do zombies like to eat? 
A: BLOODhounds!