Turtle Thursday: Diagnosis EVIL

From 2007:

There must be a special course dedicated to evil. In the latest installment in the Halloween franchise, Dr. Loomis diagnoses Michael Myers as "evil." I've heard of people being referred to as evil before, but not diagnosed medically as evil.

 

However, I have heard of an animal being diagnosed as evil. It was my little map turtle, Jay. When I got the little guy it took a while for him to become accustomed to human touch and would "come out of his shell" for us. When he finally did, I noticed this turtle had a horn on his neck. It wasn't some illusion, there was an actual out-growth that was spike-like in nature. Puzzled, I went back to the pet shop where I purchased the animal. After I described the physical aberration the clerk grabbed a book off the shelf and checked his reference book.

 

"Hmm," the clerk started, "there's nothing in here about horns on Maps. I guess he's just evil."

 

He said it with a straight face! Stupefied, I walked out of the shop.

 

So now am I to believe that Michael Myers and my little turtle are both evil? Maybe so. I think I'll be wise to hide all my butcher knives from the turtle...