Whatta crock

A client calls the office hysterically. Her divorce is final and now she actually has to get a job!

Goodness gracious!

So she had to work on her resume, but she has almost no experience in 6 years. Pretty much all she's done is work a couple minor part time jobs, get an extra tight face lift, and had a pair of breast implants put in that are like torpedoes threatening to take out an eye... and suck cock. Probably not only her sugar daddy's at that.

So she's in a panic because she has no idea what to put on a resume, and can come up with no references. So she begged my boss to help her out. She's been a long time client and asked if he can write a letter for her. She even composed it.

He agreed.

Upon reading her letter, though, I needed to vomit. She basically said that she was once an intern in the office, a 35 year old intern, and for 8 months she did all the work in this office while the rest of us sat back, watched, and admired her amazing skills.

I was actually offended when I read this nonsense.

To Whom It May Concern:

Crazy Ho worked in my law office as an intern for approximately eight months in 2002. I have been personally acquainted with nutcase for at least six years. I hired her based on her strong desire to obtain legal experience and my faith in her character, professionalism, and previous employment, which illustrates practical skills and keen business acumen. Uniquely – our working arrangement was a mutually beneficial experience.

My firm concentrates in Accounting and Tax Law. Nutcase participated in some capacity in all tasks required by my office. She prepared and analyzed accounting records, financial statements, and other applicable reports to assess accuracy and conformity to procedural standards. She did preliminary research to collect pertinent data and legal articles. She assessed trends, costs, and revenues for various business operations to help provide projected future revenues and expenses. She was responsible for maintaining document files. Overall, nutty helped coordinate all internal and clerically oriented office activity. Unafraid of making mistakes, she was bold in tackling new tasks.

She grasped the technicalities and policies of our daily functions. She was an invaluable assistant, being professional in all our transactions and extremely pleasant to work with in our cooperative working environment. Needless to say for anyone who meets her, she is a powerful and expressive force who simultaneously meshes well in teamwork and defers with quiet sincerity to those who have experience.

The details of psycho’s daily duties do not sufficiently elucidate the tremendous contribution she offered our firm, beyond those required of an intern. And in this, she never ceased to surprise. Squirrel Bait is an exceptional individual whose savvy intelligence is guided by ethical and social concerns of the practice of law and an insatiable curiosity for the underlying practical and philosophical mechanisms that govern our practice. She has integrity and grit. Occasionally her intensity overlapped slightly into an aggressiveness or obsession to detail – but when legal experience catches up to her natural excitement and eloquent perfectionism, these will be powerful attributes for a budding attorney.

Her acute intelligence and lack of inhibition to either ask questions or state opinions are unusual in my experience – and immensely refreshing. She consistently demonstrated an insatiable desire to learn more than what was required, no matter how seemingly clerical or menial the task. Somehow she always managed to find out why a singular task was significant to the whole. This young woman has undeviating determination and increasingly defined objectives toward a career in law. She knows what she wants, and she goes for it.

Stank Ho was an astute and serious “student” – simple, in the sense of devotion and deference to those who knew more, and complex in her continually finding reference and connection between our routine functions and some of those deeper social and ethical issues relevant to our contemporary world. I am convinced she willdistinguish herself as a student and an attorney, or, for that matter, whatever endeavor she pursues.

Such a sense of self-importance in this woman. What delusions of grandeur! She must be mentally ill.

If she gets a job based on what was written in that letter, the employer must have a hole in his head. No one would write a glowing review for a person like that.