Review Tuesday: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)

  

 

Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice

2024 

Lydia's daughter gets suckered into the afterlife. 

My sister loved Beetlejuice. She used to watch it all the time. She watched the animated show. She just loved it and it was on so often in some form or another that it was unavoidable around the house. So when the sequel showed up, I felt like I wanted to see it yet wasn't in any hurry. So when it was an inflight movie, the opportunity presented itself. 

 

So this movie has layers of plot. I might even call this one of Tim Burton's more involved works. Decades after the events of the first film, Lydia Deetz gets called home after her father dies on a trip. While visiting the family home Lydia's daughter Astrid meets what seems like a nice boy, but is really a ghost who is trying to trick her into taking his spot in the afterlife so he can come back to the world of the living. Lydia is forced to ask Beetlejuice for assistance to remedy the situation. Mayhen ensues.

 

When the original Beetlejuice came out during the late 1980s, it was something of a vehicle for Winona Ryder, everyone's fav spooky Goth girl. So it seems appropriate that Beetlejuice got dusted off when the world is in love with a new spooky Goth girl - Jenna Ortega. Being totally honest, I felt this revival was simply a cash grab. cash in on the nostalgia market and the Jenna Ortega love with one movie. Smart planning, to be honest. But when I actually watched it, it was a fun movie, similar in the way of the original but was something entirely new. Yep. It was fun to watch. I can see my sister as a child wanting to add this tot eh Beetlejuice rotation.   

  

Review Tuesday: Phantasm (1979)

  

 

 Phantasm

1979

Something very odd is happening at the local funeral parlor.

I remember seeing parts of this movie as a child, but have never seen it all the way through. Many horror aficionados hail PHANTASM as one of the all-time greats so I have always felt an urge to re-visit this film. Thanks to my BFF, I finally got around to it. 

 

The movie starts off with a man getting murdered while laid. The lovely woman in lavender transforms into the terrifying tall man who happens to be the local funeral director. He's apparently up to no good, but what is it? Brothers Mike and Jody (A. Michael Baldwin & Bill Thornbury) take it upon themselves to figure out what's going on. 

 

I have to say that I had high expectations for this movie based on word of mouth, but it was pretty terrible and incredibly underwhelming. I am not sure how it's developed a cult following. The story is pretty weak. The acting is awful. Special effects were rudimentary. I simply don't see what people adore about it.    

 

  

Review Tuesday: The Invisible Man (2020)

  

 

The Invisible Man

(2020) 

An woman can't get away from her abusive boyfriend even after he kills himself. 

I recently had movie credits on Amazon and asked Mrs Bax0jayz if there was something she'd like to rent or buy on the platform. After wading through content for well over an hour, she came up with this: THE INVISIBLE MAN. I think I can remember the commercials for it, looking creepy, and H.G Wells wrote the book, so how bad can it be? 

 

Bad. 

 

Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), a millionaire optics tech giant also happens to be an abusive, narcissistic, sociopath. His girlfriend, Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss), needed to get away from him. So she hatches a plan to escape his clutches and into relative safety. It seemed like her prayers were answered when news broke that Adrian killed himself. But that was only the beginning of the stalking. It seemed like the ghost of Adrian was haunting her. Or was it? 

 

So, this is what went down. Adrian, a powerful millionaire, faked his own death and used a prototype suit of invisibility to isolate and torment Cecilia so she would go back to him. It included a path of isolation, violence, and murder. 

 

The story has a very feminist whiny feel to it, while being over-the-top absurd. The massive conspiracy that one man assembled, and sacrificing his own brother's life just to cow this one woman back was wilder sci-fi than Star Trek. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a narcissistic sociopath. But he also committed a variety of crimes, including stock market manipulation with a crazy stunt like this. How would he explain the suicide photos and news items? How could someone even make that happen, no matter how much money you have at your disposal. No. This movie was stupid, pretty boring, and predictable. I think I will go back and watch the original movie by the same name to wash this from my brain. Maybe read the book, too.      

 

  

Review Tuesday: Incantation (Original title: Zhou) 2022

  

 

Incantation

(Original title: Zhou)

2022

A woman's life is plagued with misery after witnessing a private family ceremony.

When you are trying to find something to watch with friends the hardest part is making a selection. One night one of my friends declared, "I got it! I have the movie!" and suggested INCANTATION. Okay. Why not?

 

Li Ronin (Hsuanyen Tsai) and her two friends have a paranormal investigation channel on the internet. They try documenting a private family ceremony, and everything goes wrong after that.

 

This movie is kinda like a Taiwanese combination of Blair Witch and The Ring in that the main characters want to check something out due to curiosity and all end up dying, and people around them, in a grisly manner. In this scenario the family ceremony is an INCANTATION to spread out the curse that had been inflicted upon the family generations ago. The ceremony is meant to thin it out and spread it around so it's not as bad for the family. 

 

The concept sounds pretty harsh and scary, but the movie is in fact, long, drawn out, and boring. It's all found footage, so it's unstable with loads of filler. It's pretty exhausting as you wait some anything to happen, and when it does, it can be a bit gory, but hardly scary. A couple scenes build up suspense, then it goes nowhere. Totally unsatisfying.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Review Tuesday: Rubber (2010)

 

 

Rubber

(2010)

A tire goes on a murder spree. 

For years I have been aware of the 2010 horror/comedy RUBBER. One time my BFF asked if there was any movie that I was interested in seeing and I named this one! 

 

So here it is. A tire is sentient. People pay to watch it go about its day. One day, it realizes it has destructive psychic abilities and goes on a murder spree. 

 

The movie was ridiculous, but fun and keeps your interest. I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't it. It, by far, exceeded all expectations. The strangest detail is that it's harder to find than you would expect and no one has it for free?!?! If you do track it down, I recommend it.  

 

Review Tuesday: Chopping Mall (1986)

 

  

Chopping Mall

1986 

A group of youngsters are locked in a mall when the new robot security system goes berserk. 

Do you remember the great 80s horror movies? They were bad, in a good way that made them fun. That's what my BFF was looking for. 

 

For security purposes a mall goes on full lock-down nightly and additionally deploys robots to patrol the shared spaces. Of course on the very first night of the robot patrol, their control center gets an overload from a lightening bolt which fries their safety directive. Of course, a bunch of young mall employees decide to have a sex party at the furniture store that same night. It's up to the kids to avoid the sentries and survive the night. 

 

This movie is approximately what you would expect. There are some good looking women who show their boobs. The dudes are douche-bags. The robots aren't scary. The story is predictable. The writing is cheesy. Not really worth watching unless you're looking for that sort of thing.  

  

Review Tuesday: Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

  

 

Repo!

The Genetic Opera

(2008)

A Gothic Musical about a an organ repo-man. 

My BFF wanted to watch a movie and suggested this. I had never heard of it before, so, why not?  

 

Nathan, the Repo-Man (played by Anthony Head of Buffy The Vampire Slayer fame) is tasked with repossessing replacement organs from people who aren't able to keep up their payments in a post-pandemic world. 

 

Does the story really make much sense? No. But it is a MUSICAL, so that gets pushed aside for the theatrics and song and dance. So you have great sets, and an amazing cast putting on a fun show with some extra Goth flavor. 

 

If you aren't familiar with this, but enjoy spooky films and musicals, this movie will be very satisfying. I know I enjoyed it very much!   

Review Tuesday: Final Girl (2015)

 

 

Final Girl

(2015)

Veronica prepares for the FINAL GIRL role of her life. 

Who was the first final girl? Some say that was born from Silent Night, Bloody Night. Some say Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Some say Halloween. However, the horror trope of the last girl standing or rather FINAL GIRL has gone back centuries. However, in a world of horrors, can someone train to be the final girl?

 

The movie starts off with Veronica as a small child being interviewed after her family had all been killed. She seems to be recruited by William (Wes Bentley) to become a spoiler of horror. So you see Veronica (Abigail Breslin)  growing up and training to prepare for her role. 

 

The movie was pretty good. Well made and polished. Veronica is able to fill that final girl trope by surviving using her skills and wits. It not like some modern movies that woman are almost superheroes and easily take down their opponents. She has everything planned and relies on her training and still gets knocked around pretty hard. To me, something seemed off. This felt less like a regular movie and more like a pilot for a series. Perhaps a Final Girl series that she would go from town to town taking down the horrific villains? That's what it felt like to me. Fun to watch. 

 

Review Tuesday: Shelby Oaks (2024)

  

 

Shelby Oaks

2024

The sister of a missing vlogger never gives up looking for her. 

Without a word, suggestion, nor clue my BFF put this film on for movie night.

 

At first this movie feels like the countless found-footage films out there. That's the first fifteen to twenty minutes of exposition. After that is turns into a pretty solid paranormal mystery with a bunch of twists and turns and a very surprising ending. It's pretty well made. Nicely polished. Okay special effects. Worth watching!  

 

  

Review Tuesday: Underwater (2020)

  

 

Underwater

2020

Catastrophe strikes an underwater drilling facility in a Lovecraftian way. 

I have been meaning to watch this movie for years because it's pretty popular in the Lovecraft circles. My BFF said she wanted to watch it because Kristen Stewart is nekkid in it. Okay! Sounds good to me!

 

After some catastrophic failure at an underwater drilling facility, survivors try to figure out a way to survive. That's pretty much the entire thing. Approximately one and a half hours of that. It gets right to it and it doesn't let up until the end.

 

It's fun, a lot of suspense, and there IS that Cthulhu edge to it. I'd say it's worth watching.   

 

   

Review Tuesday: The Coffee Table (Original title: La mesita del comedor) 2022

  

 

The Coffee Table

(Original title: La mesita del comedor)

2022 

A man regrets buying a coffee table.

From no where my BFF brought this movie up to watch. A dark comedy? Okay...

 

Jesus (David Pareja) is stubbornly set on the thought to buy a coffee table that his bitch-wife Maria (Estafania de los Santos) hates. Since their entire marriage has been doing everything her way, Jesus wants this ONE THING. He brings the table home and begins assembly, only to discover that a part is missing. He puts the job aside while his wife goes to the grocery and he babysits their newly-born son. And then he accidentally kills the baby with the coffee table. 

 

That's like, the first 15 minutes or so. The rest of the movie is Jesus trying to comprehend what happened and deal with the trauma. 

 

To be honest, I didn't like this movie. The characters are all awful and the story is horrific. Plus it's in Spanish and it was hard trying to follow what's going on while reading the subtitles. It wasn't my thing.   

 

 

  

Review Tuesday: Hostile Dimensions (2023)

  

 

Hostile Dimensions

2023

Some people investigate the found film of a woman's disappearance into some sort of a portal. 

My BFF was trying to find something to watch and selected this movie. It looked kinda interesting. 

 

Some people were filming their deeds in an abandoned building and find a door. It apparently was a gateway to some other place. 

 

The footage went viral, of course, and aroused the interest of a couple documentarians. In their efforts to get to the bottom of things, they fall into some cultist conspiracy. 

 

At first the idea of this movie seemed okay but after a little while it went off the rails and became pretty stupid. Really not worth your time to watch.    

 

Review Tuesday: Mortal Kombat II (2026)

  

 

Mortal Kombat II

(2026) 

Select warriors have to defend Earthrealm from Shao Khan in the competition called MORTAL KOMBAT. 

I have been meaning to watch this movie, since I liked the first one but only got around to it recently thanks to my BFF. We binge watched MORTAL KOMBAT and MORTAL KOMBAT II.   

 

After the events of Mortal Kombat (reviewed HERE) the tournament is getting ready to commence. We see how Edenia was conquered by Shao Khan (Martyn Ford), and how he plans to do the same with Earthrealm. We are introduced to  Kitana and Jade (Adeline Rudolph and Tati Gabrielle) from teh Outworld perspective. We are also introduced to the aging martial artist Johnny Cage expertly portrayed by KARL URBAN. 

  

In a nutshell, this tournament is a do-or-die situation for Earthrealm. If a Realm defeats another ten times in a row, they get to claim it. Earthrealm has LOST the last nine. Losing this tournament would mean that Shao Khan can conquer our world. To ensure a victory, Shao Khan cheats. In addition, Johnny Cage wasn't even prepared to compete. So those were two easy victories and this is a best three out of five competition. 

 

The movie is about what the combatants of Earthrealm have to do to prevent Shao Khan from cheating his way to a victory. 

 

While I liked the first Mortal Kombat movie, I had some issues with it. I can say, without giving up any spoilers, that those issues were rectified in this second film. I would have to say there was much more that I liked than didn't. Johnny cage really steals the show. They show the various characters using their in-game abilities in combat and it's pretty cool! The only bummers were that both Baraka and Quan Chi both looked pretty weird, but not enough so that it actually had an impact on my opinions. Don't worry, looking at Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee), Kitana, and Jade makes up for it.   

 

This is a rated R movie, so don't expect that the good guys get through this unscathed. It's called MORTAL KOMBAT after-all, so there's plenty of game violence and people getting killed. Oh, of course the Scorpion / Sub Zero rivalry continues. 

 

So yep, I liked it. I would recommend it.    

 

Review Tuesday: Attack on Titan

  

 

Attack on Titan

People living in fear behind giant walls are hiding a secret they didn't even realize. 

I don't get to watch a lot of anime. Watching a series is hard for me. It's a big investment of time which I do not have. However, one of the biggest names in recent years is ATTACK ON TITAN. My BFF asked me to watch it with her, so why not? It's only 4 seasons...

 

I don't know what to say. It's a very long and weird series. It's mostly very well developed, but I feel like after season three, they went ape-shit trying to finish up the story. However, in doing so they added so many zigs and zags that it felt like it turned into something completely different. 

 

It starts off with a city behind walls to protect it from the monstrous TITANS getting attacked and the Titans getting in causing mass damages and casualties. Eren Yeager vows to exterminate the beasts. Pretty much entire rest of the series is his journey to meet that goal.

 

To me, I felt that since the story isn't linear with all of the jumping back and forth it led to all sorts of confusion. A massive conspiracy emerges. However, in the end it's mostly coherent if not rushed at the end. All that taken into account I am still glad I had the opportunity to watch it. I am up to date on that part of modern pop culture, as the series only concluded a couple years ago.    

 

 

  

Review Tuesday: Bohemian Rhapsody 2018

  

 

Bohemian Rhapsody

2018 

The story of Freddy Mercury and the band Queen.

If you listen to rock music at all you have to like Queen. They were a very ve4rsatile band, playing all sorts of styles and types of music. The members were excellent in their roles. While I don't think I have any Queen records, I would never turn a Queen song off on the radio. With that established, when my BFF asked if I would be interested in watching BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY with her, I had to say sure!

 

I won't bother discussing the plot. It's a docudrama about the band QUEEN from the perspective of Freddie Mercury. That is the way it had to be because the flamboyant front-man is the member who captures the imagination of the fans. It starts from the beginning with Freddie joining up with the band and their journey up to Live Aid. The ups and downs.

 

It's extremely well made. Rami Malek nailed the role as Freddie. It's warm, it's sad, it inspires you, and it's pleasing. I enjoyed this movie. Two plus hours of this docudrama moved very quickly and time well-spent.   

 

   

  

Review Tuesday: Project Hail Mary (2026)

  

 

Project Hail Mary

(2026)

A science teacher is sent out into space on a mission to save the sun.

I don't get out to see too many films these days. In a post-COVID world, something really has to pull me in to get around to seeing it. This time around, my BFF suggested watching PROJECT HAIL MARY. I know that this is another film based on a book by Andy Weir (The Martian) so I agreed.

 

The movie starts off with Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) awakening from some sort of an induced coma on a space craft that the other crew members are all dead. As a clever mechanism for all teh exposition without making it dull. The rest of the movie is about the mission and what he has to do to get it done. 

 

The movie is pretty long, but quite a lot of fun to watch. It doesn't drag. Now I see what all of teh hype was all about. I agree! Loads of fun, smart, and worthwhile to see!  

 

  

Review Tuesday: The Accountant (2016)

 

  

The Accountant

2016 

A forensic accountant discovered a money trail in a big tech company, causing ripples with the wrong people. 

For years I heard all sorts of good things about the movie THE ACCOUNTANT. An action movie about an accountant? And it stars Ben Affleck? How absurd! However, on a recent vacation it was an inflight movie, so I gave it a go. 

 

Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) is a detail oriented forensic accountant for some very dangerous characters. In an effort to get away from such dangerous work, he took a forensic accounting job for a tech giant. Within a day he found a trend that money was being siphoned off at which point the company terminated his work contract. Then employees started getting murdered. 

 

The trouble for these killers is that Wolff also happens to be a violent killer trained by the military. So while he's doing his thing, treasury agents happen to be hunting him down. Agent Ray Kind (JK Simmons) and Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson).

 

The plotline with the corporate hits made sense. They were up to no good and they didn't want it exposed.  Affleck playing a socially inept yet brilliant accountant works because he is a very wooden actor and doesn't know how to act naturally. The plotline about the agents tracking down THE ACCOUNTANT because... why? They knew the accountant was supplying them with good information to make arrests. The accountant spared King's life during a previous killing spree. Why were they after him? Sure he dealt with some bad dudes, but he was a bean counter. I guess they wanted to add an edge to this. Not bad. I found it entertaining.     

  

Review Tuesday: Ballerina (2025)

  

 

Ballerina

2025 

An assassin seeks revenge after her father's murder.

Last year's John Wick 4 was supposed to be the end of that series, but enough openings were created to continue with that world. Maybe. 

 

In a previous John Wick film, they showed us the theater company and how it trains deadly assassins. This movie starts off with a man who seems to be very well trained in the art of killing hold off a small hit squad. At least for a little while. His daughter, however, was able to escape. She ended up at that ballerina company. 

 

Years later, Eve the ballerina (Ana de Armas) is a fully trained gun for hire. On assignment she comes across a man with the same mark as the ones who killed her father. This starts her on a journey for revenge. 

 

The is in the world of John  Wick. It feels like John Wick just with a hot chick doing all the crazy killing. 

 

In my opinion, with each new chapter in the world of John Wick, the movies seemed to go farther and farther over the top. This one continued that trend. I scowled at the grenade sequence and had low expectations after that. It's a lot of gunshots and fights, and that much is okay, but I felt like we have seen all this before. Plenty of action, though. And Ana de Armas is nice to look at. I'd call it okay.    

 

 

  

Review Tuesday: Mad God 2021

  

 

MAD

GOD

2021

The Assassin navigates a ruined world of nightmares. 

This movie has been on my to-watch list for years. I own a copy but have never gotten around to watching it. So when my BFF wanted to watch it on movie night, I agreed. 

 

The bid thing about this movie is that this work has taken Phil Tippett 30 years to get it done. That's a massive commitment. Tippett's animations are well known for how great they are, so this had a lot of promise. 

 

The Assassin descended into some ruined world of horrors. We see the nightmares that occupy this space as he goes to do his job. 

 

There's not much to this movie. It's just extended scenes of imaginative yet horrific animations. That's it. Not much of a story. No character development. A lot of WTF. It looks cool and all, but it left me feeling MEH after watching it.   

  

  

Review Tuesday: Terminator Genisys 2015

  

 

Terminator Genisys

2015 

John Connor is sent back in time to stop John Connor. 

For YEARS Terminator Genisys has been FREE on Amazon Prime and I always meant to watch it, but never did. It's also been on numerous in-flight movie systems. Never motivated to watch it. There just always seemed to be better things to do with my time. Finally my BFF cornered me and had me watch it with her. 

 

This movie starts off giving you impression that it's something like a compilation of all of the previous Terminator movies all rolled up in one. Nope, they had to toss in some curve-ball. Skynet infects JOHN CONNOR and send him back in time to launch a virus called Genisys that will kick Skynet off in yet another way.  

 

It's got some cool action and explosions in its favor. But I have some reservations. God Bless Emilia Clarke for looking so youthful, but she looks like a child playing Sarah Connor. Jai Courtney seems too well fed for Kyle Reese. And the whole sending John Connor back to stop John Connor is pretty weird. I mean, why??? But all in all, it's an action with explosions and Arnold has his lines of dry wit so it's not bad to watch. It just doesn't feel right to me.