Am I gross?

I installed a new keyboard at work last Thursday night. I come in on Sunday and notice a weird overspray all over the keyboard. It turns out the girl who uses my desk on Saturdays, and only works a couple hours at that, sprays the whole fucking desk down; especially my keyboard, mouse and phone; with alcohol and Lysol. I've been trying to figure out why buttons on my mouse and old keyboard kept getting gunked up. I have my own personal gremlin working against me in this place.

Why couldn't I just get the seven day shift so I don't have to endure these personal assaults during tax season? It's very demoralizing that someone who's always sick is making me feel like there's something wrong with me.