Say it don't spray it

A client comes to the office. He's a personal friend of the boss, so I try to be accommodating since the secretary isn't in the office. Plus he's blind, so I feel bad for the old guy, so I try to be extra patient.

He needs to report a "new hire" to the state. All we need is a filled out form W-4 and then you can fax it in. Done.

I wish. He insists upon standing uncomfortably close. He starts dictating a letter, even though that's not what we're supposed to . Then he demands to know what kind of paper I'm writing this all on. Then he shows me the new employee's info. He's holding it upside down and won't let me touch it. With each word he says, he sprays me down in his foul spittle. He smells bad.

But I remain patient. He IS a friend of the boss. He's been calling the office like a maniac about this for days. So I finally set his mind at ease that it's taken care of and sent him on his way with his employee.

But for some reason he always has the secretary put him through to me to do his brainless gofer work. Usually when he asks for these stupid things I just tell him to hold and that THE SECRETARY can / will handle this issue. WTF? I have work to do. Leave me alone. Fuggoff.