Top 10 thoughts of 2005

From my email:

Top 10 thoughts of 2005

#10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

#9 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

#7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

#6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

#5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

#4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

#2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.