Spanish Resume submitted at Dollar Store

This from my email box, thanks Helen.

MARTHA MARIA FIGUEROA DELACRUZ DE LOS SANTOS DE EL CAMINO DE LA REINA
15 South Projectos, Apartamento El Baisman
El Queens, Nueva Jork, wung wung for sero sero
SELULA FON: (917) 555-5555
(today is terned off but I will get de monee order tumoro)

FON DE LA CASA: Neybor's fon, (788)999-999 9
(just ask for me and they will yell for me)

OBJECTED:

Juan day (maybe after dis job) I wanna opin a Day Kare in mine own apartment for teng kidz.

SKELLZ:

I wash my sisters kidz wheng she goes to de dancing at 'Latin Quarta', I shange the kidz pamperz, misk de milk and shocolate Quick in da botella whilg I wash de novelas at de saing tine.

EJUCACION:
I grajuaded from fif grade. Deng I grajuated from aighf grade. Deng I learned alot from my tia Juana, she let me quit skool so she cood show me to babysit my cozins, Juan, Pito, Tito,Flaco, Papo, Chavela, Chavelo, and Yvette (pobrecita, she dunt even nose who her papi iz!!!)

WORK ESPERIENCE:
Wheng I got tired of babysittin, I woked in a fabrica sowing and stealing dresses.
Reason for leabing: My jefe Hector, tried to hit on me and his lady 'Luz Maria' caught himg.

Deng I got anofa jub at B.I.M. storez , i wuz eng charge of foldeng de genes. Reason for leabing: Tio Juan died in my other country and I hadda go to de funeraria. I din't no him, but I hadda go ova dare, you know, for mortal support and all dat. So anywhey, my jefe got mad and fired me.

Deng I stayed home and sold 'Avon' cosmeticos. I hadda to quik becose I orderd too mucho stuff for my familia and dey didng paid. So weng 'Avon'axed me furr de monee I didng hab it.

My last jub was at "Mi Baby Papi Chulo Day Care" I wached all the kidz for all the moders who hadda get on welfel.


REFERENCES:
Jus call the payfon ecross de estreet and ax anywung ebout MARIA LA LOCA, eberyone know me and dey tell ju all ebout mee.