Christmas Cookie Recipe (?!?!?!)

From Lori:

CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPE ?

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal Reserve

• Sample the Crown to check quality.
• Take a large bowl, check the Crown again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
• Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
• Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Crown is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.
• Turn off the mixer thingy.
• Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit
• Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
• Mix on the turner.
• If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.
• Sample the Crown to check for tonsisticity.
• Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.&n! bsp;Who giveshz a sheet.
• Check the Crown Royal.
• Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
• Add one table.
• Add a spoon of ar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
• Greash the oven.
• Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
• Don't forget to beat off the turner.
• Finally, throw the bowl through the window,
• Finish the bottle of Crown Royal
• Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS