The Anniversary

From Cat:

A husband was in big trouble because he had forgotten his wedding anniversary. His unhappy wife tells him, "Tomorrow there had better be something sitting in the driveway that will go from 0 to 200 in two seconds flat!" The next day, the wife goes out to find a small package lying in the drive. She bends down, opens it and finds a shiny new bathroom scale. The funeral arrangements are set for tomorrow.