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Provided by the compucert I was poisoned last week! It's true, but before I go into the vile details, I have to go back in time to discuss some background of this strange occurrence.
It was Monday, the 19th of June. I had gotten a phone call from a friend named Sara. She explained to me that her husband had fallen terribly ill over the weekend. He was suffering from dizziness, nausea, and fever. Sounded a lot like food poisoning but without excrement shooting out of either end. Odd.
On Tuesday I ran into my mother's neighbor, Jessica. She explained that she was suffering from some form of stomach distress, likely from her eating habits over the previous weekend.
Then Thursday morning arrived. I was hungry even before I left the house. I couldn't wait to get to the office and get something to eat. After I did so, I walked down the block to the nearby coffee stand and ordered an iced coffee, a marble krueller, and a buttered roll. They made my coffee with cream and sugar, even though I don't usually have it sweetened. I had to take a glazed krueller instead of the marble one, as they had no more.
At 9:15 I ate the krueller and drank my coffee. Fifteen minutes later I started to become dizzy. Headache and nausea set in. I tried to get up, but the room began to spin. At one point I collapsed into the wall when I got up from my desk.
Maybe I was dehydrated? I drank a load of water. Didn't help. I'm felt like I had no energy left in my being. I put my head on my desk and closed my eyes.
I awoke to the oddest sensation. My mouth was watering while my stomach felt like it was lifting. It felt like it was rising more and more, and my mouth was gushing. I decided I needed to move. These were not good signs. I figured out that the rising feeling in my stomach was the earliest stage of reverse peristalsis and I needed to get to a receptacle quickly.
I knelt in the bathroom before the white wishing well. With a dire urgency going through my being around what I knew was about to happen, I tried to settle into a position that would result in as little "collateral damage" as possible.
Then the inevitable occurred -- a geyser of puke flew out of my mouth with enormous force. Before I was able to settle back and rest after that episode, another round of projectile vomit surged out from the depths of my gut.
Feeling immediately better, I sat back to take in the damage. Despite my best efforts, I still managed to coat myself with blown chunks. Shirt, pants and even SHOES!
I tried to clean off as best as I could. Luckily, I had a change of clothes in the office. So what if I was wearing shorts with a sweatshirt that day, at least I didn't have that evil wreak on me. I was able to wash the shirt more thoroughly.
After that I had some soup, and I was fine for the rest of the day. My friend Don in New Mexico told me that it sounded like food poisoning, but from what exactly, who could tell?
That was the first time in over 34 years I experienced anything like that. Hopefully the last!
It was Monday, the 19th of June. I had gotten a phone call from a friend named Sara. She explained to me that her husband had fallen terribly ill over the weekend. He was suffering from dizziness, nausea, and fever. Sounded a lot like food poisoning but without excrement shooting out of either end. Odd.
On Tuesday I ran into my mother's neighbor, Jessica. She explained that she was suffering from some form of stomach distress, likely from her eating habits over the previous weekend.
Then Thursday morning arrived. I was hungry even before I left the house. I couldn't wait to get to the office and get something to eat. After I did so, I walked down the block to the nearby coffee stand and ordered an iced coffee, a marble krueller, and a buttered roll. They made my coffee with cream and sugar, even though I don't usually have it sweetened. I had to take a glazed krueller instead of the marble one, as they had no more.
At 9:15 I ate the krueller and drank my coffee. Fifteen minutes later I started to become dizzy. Headache and nausea set in. I tried to get up, but the room began to spin. At one point I collapsed into the wall when I got up from my desk.
Maybe I was dehydrated? I drank a load of water. Didn't help. I'm felt like I had no energy left in my being. I put my head on my desk and closed my eyes.
I awoke to the oddest sensation. My mouth was watering while my stomach felt like it was lifting. It felt like it was rising more and more, and my mouth was gushing. I decided I needed to move. These were not good signs. I figured out that the rising feeling in my stomach was the earliest stage of reverse peristalsis and I needed to get to a receptacle quickly.
I knelt in the bathroom before the white wishing well. With a dire urgency going through my being around what I knew was about to happen, I tried to settle into a position that would result in as little "collateral damage" as possible.
Then the inevitable occurred -- a geyser of puke flew out of my mouth with enormous force. Before I was able to settle back and rest after that episode, another round of projectile vomit surged out from the depths of my gut.
Feeling immediately better, I sat back to take in the damage. Despite my best efforts, I still managed to coat myself with blown chunks. Shirt, pants and even SHOES!
I tried to clean off as best as I could. Luckily, I had a change of clothes in the office. So what if I was wearing shorts with a sweatshirt that day, at least I didn't have that evil wreak on me. I was able to wash the shirt more thoroughly.
After that I had some soup, and I was fine for the rest of the day. My friend Don in New Mexico told me that it sounded like food poisoning, but from what exactly, who could tell?
That was the first time in over 34 years I experienced anything like that. Hopefully the last!
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