Tech support

From my email, from Jay:

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!

>=================================

>Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
>
>Female customer: A white one...
>
> ===============
>
>Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
>
>Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
>
>Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
>
>Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
>
>Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
>
>===============

>Tech support:
> Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
>
>Customer: Your left or my left?
>
> ===============
>
>Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
>
>Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
>
>Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
>
>Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

> ===============

>Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
>
> ===============
>Customer: I have problems printing in red...
>
>Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
>
>Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
>
> ===============

>Tech support:
> What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
>
>Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
>
===============
>
>Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
>
>Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
>
>Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
>
>Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
>
>Customer:! OK
>
>Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
>
>Customer: Yes
>
>Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
>
>Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
>
> ===============
>

>Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
>
>Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
>
>=============
>Customer: can't get on the Internet.
>
>Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
>
>Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
>
>Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
>Customer: Five stars.
>
> ===============
>Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
>
>Customer: Netscape.
>
>Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
>
>Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
>
> ===============
>
>
>Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
>

> ===============
>
>
>Tech support: How may I help you?
>
>Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
>
>Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
>
>Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
>
> ===============
>A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
>
>Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
>
>Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
>
> ===============

>And last but not least...
>
>Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
>
>Customer: I don't have a P.
>
>Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
>
>Customer: What do you mean?
>
>Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
>
>Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!