When neighbors attack OR calling Officer Hottie!

2006 has turned out to be an interesting year so far, especially since the warmer weather set in. We had noticed that the next door neighbor out their house up for sale. Actually, the wife did. The husband, who was always a nice guy, was rarely around. On the infrequent occasion that he was, all manner of yelling and screaming could be heard emanating from that house.

We figured out that Dave (actual names are NOT being used) was leaving Angus. A divorce was in the works and it looked like ii was going to me a messy one. So the for sale sign was up and we kept a safe distance. We always got along very well with these people. We were all good friends, so we didn't want to pick at any scabs or get anyone annoyed by being nosy.

That is, until we got back from our vacation in Jamaica. We were tidying up the yard on a lovely early summer afternoon. I was in the backyard when I heard bellowing coming from the front. I could hear Stacey, my wife. And I could hear the voice of the nasty scrag across the street, but the third voice yelling sounded like Angus. What's with all the yelling? I went up front to find the Angus and Katy (the oz across the street) taking turns screaming at my wife on MY front lawn that I had just manicured perfectly. I told Angus I was disappointed in her behaviour and that she needed to go home and chill. I told Katy that none of this was her business and to go home.

To that, Katy responded, "Wait til my husband gets home, he'll fix your ass muthafucka."

Indeed, that whipped guy, Vinnie came across the street to have a "man to man" talk with me later; telling me to leave the women alone in their arguments or else he'd put me under the ground. I waved it off. It appears he's seen The Godfather and Good Fellas too many times and felt the urge to use his Italian vibrato to try to shake me. It didn't succeed. I have no fear of anyone, least of all a mobster wannabe.

So time has passed. Angus and Katy keep throwing about their insane comments to my wife and me here and there. We just ignore them. Dave even came over to apologize to me for his whackt newly estranged wife and that we only need to "ignore her and her rotten mouth." We did so.

Until last night.

Yesterday morning my wife was leaving the house a couple minutes late. You know, a case of the Mondays and she was running late. In addition she heard Angus and Dave having a HUGE battle in the open. He went into the garage took out a bike, loaded it into his car and tore out. After that Stacey walked out of our house and heard water spraying about around the other side of the house. She peeked around the side to see Angus hosing all the crap from her driveway and splattering it up against the side of our house. Angus saw she was caught, so she put down the house and ran into the house. Real nice. Why do we have to pick up the crap from her yard?

Stacey decided to remedy this situation. She bought a series of low plastic guards to out along the base of the fence between our properties to keep Angus from moving crap onto our property. After she got it in place, Angus noticed it and went ballistic: yelling and screaming and threatening. That was when I arrived at home, to witness the tirade. At that moment Angus bellowed, "Don't you call me a bitch you muthafucka!" Stacey and I looked to eachother quizzically, as neither of us said anything to her, let alone calling her anything profane. Then Angus, "I'm going over there to phuk you both up." She stormed by her crying 7 year-old daughter who was terribly upset by this spectacle and came into MY yard.

I notified her that she had no business being in my yard and to go home. Her very intelligent answer was, "Like hell I don't! I'm gonna phuk you both up!"

Whilst this was conspiring, Stacey was on the cell-phone with a 911 dispatcher, "there's a crazy lady in my yard yelling and screaming and threatening bodily harm to my husband and me." The operator heard the commotion in the background and asked repeatedly if we were alright. Her concern was evident when, not one but two Nassau County Police cruisers appeared. The first one was a female Police Officer who walked into our house with Stacey and we told her the story.

Allow me to break at this point to say that there was a lot more yelling and screaming that I detailed in this blog. It would only be burdensome for me to recount, and for you to read. So this is a condensed version of sorts.

So this Officer struck me as odd right away. She was absolutely stunning. Light brown hair bordering on red. Beautiful skin. Eyes, blue like the sky. Smelled great! She looked more like an angel, than a New York Cop. She quietly listened to us as we relayed to her the details of what had befallen us only moments earlier. Her beautiful eyes sparkled as she registered the details of what we had to say. The second Officer joined in, a tall strapping lad, and he absorbed the details as well. In this visit, I suppose there was a little something for both t3h Mr. and Mrs. Bax0jayz.

The Officers said they'd go speak to the woman. She was sitting, bare-footed, on her stoop being consoled by the two mentally challenged people across the street. She maintained to the cops that she was merely retrieving a ball that landed in our yard. The cops didn't buy it, so they said that she cannot come onto our property for any reason. The next time a ball lands on our side, don't come over for it.

After the cops brought us up to speed on the situation, they departed. However, Angus remained sulking on her stoop for many hours afterward, looking like a typical criminal from an episode of COPS.

After taking abuse from these people; the ones across the street for YEARS now, and from Angus for months; we finally have the upper hand. We would just ignore these people and take their abuse. Now, however, Angus has been warned. She has two kids she has to keep in mind. If she gets carted off to jail, child services gets involved, Dave gets the kids, and she gets to rot in prison thinking about how stupid she's been acting. You see, I think Angus is venting hostility that she has for Dave but aiming it at innocents: US. That's unacceptable. So if she keeps it up, she has A LOT to lose.

I'll keep you posted.

...And I hope I get to see Hottie Cop again...