Stacey has been looking for just the right shade of red lipstick for years. The problem is that with her olive complexion, nothing looks right on her. They all seem too bright. I noticed a girl with approximately the same skin tone wearing the PERFECT shade of red a couple months back on the train and told Stacey about it that night. She asked me why I didn't ask the girl for the name of the shade.
"Hun, this is New York," I said. "She won't be pleased if some stranger, especially a man, asks her for her lipstick shade."
"Nah, it's a compliment," she stated. "She'll be happy someone likes her choice."
The logic seemed reasonable. Maybe I'm just cynical about women in this big city. They can't all be bitches, right?
I happened to see that same girl the other morning. What luck! So I just asked, "Excuse me miss, what shade of lipstick do you wear? My wife would like to know."
"My what???" she spat.
Realizing this was NOT going well I stammered, "Your lipstick. It's the perfect shade. It's very lovely, and my wife would like to give it a try."
She started grumbling to herself while shifting uneasily in her seat and looking around, as if there might be a Candid Camera around. She finally grunted, "Mad Engwa."
I had NO IDEA what she was talking about. I tried repeating what I thought I heard, "Mad Eng?"
"Mad Eggplant," she mumbled, bearly audible.
Now I KNEW this wasn't going well and I wasn't going to ask this woman again, so I handed her my sudoku pad and asked if she would write the name so I am sure to have it down correctly and won't forget. She jotted down MATTE EGGPLANT and grunted, "Weird" to me.
And with that I decided that dealing with young women in New York City is NOT worth the hassle. I am SO GLAD I'm not playing the singles game here. Too many brawds have bad attitudes and are unwilling to be friendly from the get-go just because they think everyone is trying to get between her legs. Get over yourself.
The funny part was that I WAS being polite and complimenting of her tastes. Is that really a bad thing?
Here's a song that reminds me of this story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ana6B2ip6kI Lipstick And Bruises
by Lit
You kiss me on the way up
Kick me when I fall down
Under the radar
Stick me in the lost and found
Lipstick and bruises
Up and down
[CHORUS:]
This is what you always wanted
It's what you asked for
This is what you always wanted
And now you want more
Now these are all your new friends
Baby, you're a rock star now
Runnin' with the devil
Kiss me when the lights go down
Lipstick and bruises
Up and down
[CHORUS]
[guitar solo]
Kiss me when the lights go down
Lipstick and bruises
Up and down
This is what you always wanted
It's what you asked for
This is what you always wanted
And now you want more
And now you want more
And now you want more
It's what you wanted
It's what you needed
And now you want more
0 comments:
Post a Comment