Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Fuck you letters of reference

In this awful economy jobs have grown extraordinarily scarce. Companies have now resorted to trying to get your friends to rat you out on reference letters so you can be disqualified for a job. Here's one I filled out for a friend recently...

The usual:
Q: Starting with the most important, please comment on the top 3 work-related strengths of this individual. Comments must be made in English only. Thank you!
Easy enough:
A: 
  1. She is a very loyal employee and an asset to any workplace.
  2. She has a strong work ethic.
  3. She is very patient when dealing with coworkers and business areas
The curve-ball:
Q: Starting with the most important, please comment on the top 3 ways in which this individual can improve his/her performance at work. We all realize that no one's perfect; in fact, we find that the majority of references provide helpful information in this section. Comments must be made in English only. Thank you!
WTF?!?! If you are stupid enough to actually list three things that your friend fucks up at work, you aren't a good friend. Try being a politician, instead, and answer a completely different question while puffing your friend up at the same time:
A:
This is a very difficult question to answer. She is the portrait of a perfect employee over the years that I have known her. She is always on time. Work is completed accurately and in a timely manner. She gets along with coworkers, supervisors, and management. She has even trained her most recent supervisor. I couldn't think of anything she would need to improve in any way, shape or form.
And that's how you fuck with the system!

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