Monday, August 19, 2013

spigot \SPIG-uht\, noun:

1. a small peg or plug for stopping the vent of a cask.
2. a peg or plug for stopping the passage of liquid in a faucet or cock.
3. a faucet or cock for controlling the flow of liquid from a pipe or the like.
4. the end of a pipe that enters the enlarged end of another pipe to form a joint.

Spigot came to English in the late 14th century from the Latin spica meaning "ear of grain." It shares its root with the word spike.

Fart

1. 1-man salute
2. 7.4 on the Rectum scale
3. Acid-rain maker
4. After the thunder comes the rain
5. Air bagel
6. Airbrush your boxers
7. Anal acoustics
8. Anal ahem
9. Anal audio
10. Anal salute
11. Anal volcano
12. Arse blast
13. Ass blaster
14. Ass-scented methane
15. Ass biscuit
16. Ass thunder
17. Ass whistle
18. A turd whistling for the right of way
19. Backdoor breeze
20. Backfire
21. Bad sprinkling
22. Baking brownies
23. Barking spiders
24. Bean blower
25. Beep your horn
26. Belch from behind
27. Better open a window
28. Blast off
29. Blast the chair
30. Blasting the ass trumpet
31. Blat
32. Blow ass
33. Blow mud
34. Blow the big brown horn
35. Blowing the butt bugle
36. Blowing you a kiss
37. Bomber
38. Bottom blast
39. Bottom burp
40. Break the sound barrier without a plane
41. Break wind
42. Breath of fresh air
43. Brown horn brass choir
44. Brown thunder
45. Bun shaker
46. Burnin' rubber
47. Buster
48. Busting ass
49. Butt bleat
50. Butt burp
51. Butt hair harmony
52. Butt percussion
53. Butt trauma
54. Butt trumpet
55. Butt tuba
56. Buttock bassoon
57. Cheek flapper
58. Cheesin'
59. Colonic calliope
60. Crack a rat
61. Crack one off
62. Crack splitters
63. Crimp off some breakfast biscuits
64. Crop dusting (surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust)
65. Crowd splitter
66. Cut a stinker
67. Cut loose
68. Cut the cheese
69. Cut the wind
70. Death Breath
71. Deflate
72. Doing the one-cheek sneak
73. Doorknob
74. Drop a barking spider
75. Drop a bomb
76. Drop ass
77. Dropped a bomb
78. Eggy
79. Empty my tank
80. Exercising the meat nozzle (not sure if this one doesn't belong in a different category)
81. Exploding bottom
82. Explosion between the legs
83. Exterminate
84. Fart
85. Fire a stink torpedo
86. Fire the retro-rocket
87. Firing scud missiles
88. Fizzler
89. Flame thrower
90. Flamer
91. Flapper
92. Flatulate
93. Flatulence
94. Flatus
95. Flipper
96. Float an air biscuit
97. Floof
98. Fluffy
99. Fog slicer
100. Fowl howl
101. Fragrant fuzzy
102. Free-floating anal vapors
103. Free Jacuzi
104. Freep
105. Frequency Actuated Rectal Tremor
106. Fumigate
107. Funky rollers
108. Gas attack
109. Gas blaster
110. Gas from the ass
111. Gas master
112. Gaseous intestinal by-products
113. Ghost turd
114. Give a dirty look at the person next to you
115. Grandpa
116. Gravy pants
117. Great brown cloud
118. Hailing Emperor Crush
119. Hey, did you fart? Because you blew me away! (pick-up line)
120. Heinus anus
121. Hole flappage
122. Hole flapper
123. Honk
124. HUMrrhoids
125. Hydrogen bomb
126. I made a pootie
127. If you are that embarrassed about it, you can always blame it on me.
128. Ignition
129. Insane in the methane
130. Invert a burp
131. It's low tide
132. Jet propulsion
133. Jockey burner
134. Jumping guts
135. Just calling your name
136. Just keeping warm
137. Just the noise
138. Kaboom
139. K-Fart
140. Kill the canary
141. Lay a wind loaf
142. Lay an air biscuit
143. Leave a gas trap
144. Let a beefer
145. Let each little bean be heard
146. Let one fly
147. Let one go
148. Let the beans out
149. Lethal cloud
150. Letting one rip
151. Lingerer
152. Made a gas blast
153. Make a stink
154. Make a trumpet of one's ass (John Milton)
155. Mating call of the barking spider
156. Methane Bomb
157. Methane production experiment
158. Moon gas
159. Mud duck
160. Must be a sewer around
161. Nose death
162. Odor bubble
163. Odorama
164. One man jazz band
165. One-gun salute
166. Painting the elevator
167. Pant stainer
168. Panty burp
169. Parp
170. Party in your pants
171. Pass gas
172. Pass wind
173. Play the tuba
174. Playing the trouser tuba
175. Plotcher (aka a wet one ... bad form, points taken off for emmitting one of these)
176. Poof
177. Poop gas
178. Poot
179. Pop
180. Pop a fluffy
181. Preventing Spontaneous Human Combustion (South Park)
182. Prove it
183. Prupe (Norwegian--the E has two dots over it)
184. Puff, the Magic Dragon
185. Quack
186. Rebuild the ozone layer one poof at a time
187. Rectal honk
188. Rectal shout
189. Rectal tremor
190. Release a squeeker
191. Release an ass buscuit
192. Release gas
193. Rep
194. Rimshot
195. Rip ass
196. Rip one
197. Ripple fart
198. Roast the Jockeys
199. Rotting vegetation
200. Safety
201. Salute your shorts
202. SAS (silent and scentless)
203. SBD (silent but deadly)
204. Set off an SBD
205. Shit fumes
206. Shit honker
207. Shit vapor
208. Shoot the cannon
209. Shoppin' at Wal-Fart
210. Silent but deadly (SBD)
211. Singe the carpet
212. Singing the Anal Anthem
213. Skunk smells his own smell first!
214. Sounding the sphincter scale
215. Sounds like a barking spider
216. Sounds like a wompus cat
217. Sphincter song
218. Spit a brick
219. Squeak one out
220. Squeeker
221. Steamer
222. Step on a duck
223. Step on a frog
224. Stink bomb
225. Stink Burger
226. Strangling the stank monkey
227. Stress release
228. Tail wind
229. Telegraph from Ft. A-hole to Cmdr. Nostril announcing the arrival of Gen. Shat
230. That felt good
231. The closest you get to craping while standing up
232. The colonic calliope
233. The dog did it
234. The F bomb
235. The gluteal tuba
236. The Sound and the Fury
237. The stink's gone into the fabric
238. The third state of matter
239. The toothless one speaks
240. Thunder pants
241. Thunderspray
242. Toilet tune
243. Toot
244. Toot your own horn
245. Trelblow
246. Triple flutter blast
247. Trouser cough
248. Trouser trumpet
249. Turd honking
250. Turd hooties
251. Turn on the A/C in your large intestine
252. Uncorked symphony
253. Under burp
254. Venting one
255. Wet one
256. What smell?
257. What the dog did
258. Whoever smelt it dealt it
259. Wrong way burping
260. Your voice has changed, but your breath is still the same.
261. Zinger

4.
(after farting at the urinal)
"After thunder comes the rain."

135.
Q. "What was that?"
A. "Just calling your name."

137.
"BRRRRRAAACK"
"Ewwww, get away from me!"
"Take it easy, it was just the noise."
Trivia
In TV’s Star Trek universe, what are tribbles?

• Furry little purring creatures that are born pregnant and continue multiplying based on how much they eat—and they’re always hungry.
  

History

• Old Ironsides: the USS Constitution defeated the British ship HMS Guerrière off the coast of Newfoundland during the War of 1812 (1812)
• Sputnik 5: Soviet satellite entered orbit with dogs, rats, mice and plants aboard; all returned safely the next day (1960)
• Bitches Brew: trumpeter Miles Davis began three days of recording the iconic jazz-rock album (1969)
• Iraq War: a suicide truck bomb killed 22 at the UN compound in Baghdad, including envoy Sergio Vieira de Mello (2003)

Birthdays

• Bernard Baruch 1870
• Orville Wright 1871
• Coco Chanel 1883
• Alfred Lunt 1892
• Ogden Nash 1902
• James Cozzens 1903
• Claude Dauphin 1903
• Philo Taylor Farnsworth 1906
• June Collyer 1907
• Ring Lardner Jr. 1915
• George Rowles 1918
• Malcolm Forbes 1919
• Gene Roddenberry 1921
• L.Q. Jones 1927
• Willie Shoemaker 1931
• Debra Paget 1933
• Bobby Richardson 1935
• Diana Muldaur 1938
• Ginger Baker (Cream, Blind Faith) 1939
• Johnny Nash 1940
• Jill St. John 1940
• Billy J. Kramer (The Dakotas) 1943
• Eddy Raven 1944
• Ian Gillan (Deep Purple) 1945
• Bill (William Jefferson) Clinton (U.S.) 1946 POTUS impeached for perjury
• Tipper Gore 1948 free speech hating cunt
• Gerald McRaney 1948
• Deana (Dina) Martin 1948 - Singer, actor, daughter of Dean Martin
• John Deacon (Queen) 1951
• Jonathan Frakes 1952
• Mary Matalin 1953
• Peter Gallagher 1955
• Adam Arkin 1956
• Gary Chapman 1957
• Martin Donovan 1957
• Ron Darling 1960
• Eric Lutes 1962
• John Stamos 1963
• Kevin Dillon 1965

• Kyra Sedgwick 1965
• Lee Ann Womack 1966
• Tabitha Soren 1967
• Mark McGuinn 1968
• Clay Walker 1969
• Matthew Perry 1969 - Actor ("Friends")
• Fat Joe 1970
• M.C. Eric (Technotronic) 1970
• Mary Joe Fernandez 1971
• Erika Christiansen 1982
• J. Evan Bonifant 1985
• Lil' Romeo 1989