Turtle Thursday: Diagnosis EVIL (2022)

From 2007:

There must be a special course dedicated to evil. In Rob Zombie's additions to the Halloween franchise, Dr. Loomis diagnoses Michael Myers as "evil." I've heard of people being referred to as evil before, but not diagnosed medically as evil.

 

However, I have heard of an animal being diagnosed as evil. It was my little map turtle, Jay. When I got the little girl it took a while for her to become accustomed to human touch and would "come out of his shell" for us. When she finally did, I noticed this turtle had a horn on her neck. It wasn't some illusion, there was an actual out-growth that was spike-like in nature. Puzzled, I went back to the pet shop where I purchased the animal. After I described the physical aberration the clerk grabbed a book off the shelf and checked his references.

 

"Hmm," the clerk started, "there's nothing in here about horns on Maps. I guess she's just evil."

 

He said it with a straight face! Stupefied, I walked out of the shop.

 

So now am I to believe that Michael Myers and my little turtle are both evil? Maybe so. I think I'll be wise to hide all my butcher knives from the turtle...