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Provided by the compucert 
m
p
-th
) n. - Direct identification with, understanding of, and vicarious experience of another person's situation, feelings, and motives.
- The projection of one's own feelings or emotional state onto an object or animal.
Empathy is a funny thing. There's sort of a give and take to it to use it in a healthy way.
When someone tells you about an experience, you can experience it with them. That's empathy.
Someone can open up their emotions to you and you can feel what they have in their heart. That's empathy.
If someone tries to share his story with you and you stop him a couple times with nonsense, that shows a lack of empathy. Please, learn to listen. It's not hard to give someone your undivided attention for a couple minutes.
But the second part of the definition is where it can go seriously wrong. Frequently when you assign an emotion or mood to a person or thing without knowing what their true mood is, if there even is one, then things can go terribly wrong quickly.
For instance, today I had spent hours applying several layers of semigloss white paint to thbathroomon in the basement. After I finished I started to clean up. After I had finished washing my paint pan, brush and roller I got a phone call from a friend. While I was on the phone my wife became annoyed with me. She thought we were heading out for dinner that moment it seemed. So I got off the phone. She was clearly in a bad mood by that time. So I got dressed and sat in my solarium to think. More than 10-15 minutes later she came beckoning to head out for dinner. Some rush, huh? Fine. I put on my jacket and stepped out.
When I got to my car I remembered that I had washed one of my floormats when my coffee spilled on it earlier today. I went to the backyard to get it but it wasn't where I left it. It was dark and I couldn't see anything. Rather than wasting my time looking around for my mat which, evidently, wasn't where I had left it. I walked up front and yelled from halfway up the drive if she knew where it was. I thought she yelled back, "In the garbage can," so dismayed I asked, but still yelled from half a driveway away, "in the garbage can?"
"ON THE GARBAGE CAN YOU IDIOT," she responded. This infuriated me. In the past half hour she had called me an idiot twice over nothing. The first time while I was on the phone because I was wasting time when we should've been going out for dinner. She said it loud enough that the person I was otheeh phone asked why my wife was calling me an idiot. That time I ignored her comment, and that was my excuse to get off the phone. But yelling down the driveway that I was an idiot was too much. I stormed down the driveway grumbling about the neverending indignities I suffer at this woman's scathing tongue. I found my mat otheeh floor behind the garbage pail. Whether it fell there on it's own or not, I could care less. I could've been given an answer like a normal human being but it seems it's quite beyond this woman.
Regardless, I walked up front and went to put the mat in the car. The wife was in front trying to round up each leaf from the lawn and herd them out to the street when I told her where I found the mat. She said, "See? And you accused me of throwing it out."
"No I didn't." I responded with my eyebrow cocked inquisitivelyly. "What are you talking about?"
"You said I put it in the garbage can, and you were all mad," she answered heatedly.
"No I didn't," I said defensively. "I only thought I heard you say IN the can, that's why I said it again. I wanted to be sure that what I heard was right. Then YOU called ME an idiot for no reason."
To this she exploded that I asked her with "anger" and she started a big fuss in front ogf the house. Then I realized she's expecting me to now drive her to a restaurant and buy her dinner right after she screamed at me in front of our house. Fuck that. I take enough abuse without having to reward her for it. I locked up the car and went back into the house.
That was a prime example of definition TWO of empathy. She was already annoyed from before we walked out of the house. When i asked her about me mat she projected her anger onto me.
People need to learn patience and proper empathy. Life doesn't have to be adversarial.
When someone tells you about an experience, you can experience it with them. That's empathy.
Someone can open up their emotions to you and you can feel what they have in their heart. That's empathy.
If someone tries to share his story with you and you stop him a couple times with nonsense, that shows a lack of empathy. Please, learn to listen. It's not hard to give someone your undivided attention for a couple minutes.
But the second part of the definition is where it can go seriously wrong. Frequently when you assign an emotion or mood to a person or thing without knowing what their true mood is, if there even is one, then things can go terribly wrong quickly.
For instance, today I had spent hours applying several layers of semigloss white paint to thbathroomon in the basement. After I finished I started to clean up. After I had finished washing my paint pan, brush and roller I got a phone call from a friend. While I was on the phone my wife became annoyed with me. She thought we were heading out for dinner that moment it seemed. So I got off the phone. She was clearly in a bad mood by that time. So I got dressed and sat in my solarium to think. More than 10-15 minutes later she came beckoning to head out for dinner. Some rush, huh? Fine. I put on my jacket and stepped out.
When I got to my car I remembered that I had washed one of my floormats when my coffee spilled on it earlier today. I went to the backyard to get it but it wasn't where I left it. It was dark and I couldn't see anything. Rather than wasting my time looking around for my mat which, evidently, wasn't where I had left it. I walked up front and yelled from halfway up the drive if she knew where it was. I thought she yelled back, "In the garbage can," so dismayed I asked, but still yelled from half a driveway away, "in the garbage can?"
"ON THE GARBAGE CAN YOU IDIOT," she responded. This infuriated me. In the past half hour she had called me an idiot twice over nothing. The first time while I was on the phone because I was wasting time when we should've been going out for dinner. She said it loud enough that the person I was otheeh phone asked why my wife was calling me an idiot. That time I ignored her comment, and that was my excuse to get off the phone. But yelling down the driveway that I was an idiot was too much. I stormed down the driveway grumbling about the neverending indignities I suffer at this woman's scathing tongue. I found my mat otheeh floor behind the garbage pail. Whether it fell there on it's own or not, I could care less. I could've been given an answer like a normal human being but it seems it's quite beyond this woman.
Regardless, I walked up front and went to put the mat in the car. The wife was in front trying to round up each leaf from the lawn and herd them out to the street when I told her where I found the mat. She said, "See? And you accused me of throwing it out."
"No I didn't." I responded with my eyebrow cocked inquisitivelyly. "What are you talking about?"
"You said I put it in the garbage can, and you were all mad," she answered heatedly.
"No I didn't," I said defensively. "I only thought I heard you say IN the can, that's why I said it again. I wanted to be sure that what I heard was right. Then YOU called ME an idiot for no reason."
To this she exploded that I asked her with "anger" and she started a big fuss in front ogf the house. Then I realized she's expecting me to now drive her to a restaurant and buy her dinner right after she screamed at me in front of our house. Fuck that. I take enough abuse without having to reward her for it. I locked up the car and went back into the house.
That was a prime example of definition TWO of empathy. She was already annoyed from before we walked out of the house. When i asked her about me mat she projected her anger onto me.
People need to learn patience and proper empathy. Life doesn't have to be adversarial.
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