Great Neck: My First Closing

When I worked at the yogurt shop they made such a big deal over everything. For the first three days I worked there they wouldn't let me make anything for anyone because they wanted to be sure I knew exactly how everything was done. Pouring soft serve frozen yogurt and making salads is far from splitting the atom. But hey, if they wanted to pay me to stand there and watch, fine.

So after a couple of weeks the bosses asked Jon if I was ready to close up at night. He said I can handle it and that he'd show me the right way to do everything. So I finally got the shift.

Down Middleneck Road was a chain yogurt shop called Yogurteria. I was told that the conditions there were deplorable, the food was subpar, and the service was substandard. That was how they were able to beat all our prices. A superior product costs more, right? Well, that's what we maintained.

So just before closing one night a girl stalks into the shop and orders a small yogurt. I prepare it for her. Jon was at the far side of the counter clearing out the salad bar and coudn't be seen from where the customers stood. I hand her the cup of frozen dessert and tell her, "$2.20 please."

To which she wrinkled up her face in a grimace and grunted, "It's only $2 at Yogurteria."

"Well, we're not part of that chain. We have better yogurt here," I explain.

"But why is their's that much cheaper?" she states, triumphantly.

At this point I'm ready to strangle this girl. She's maybe 19 years old, driving the expensive European import car daddy gave her, paying with daddy's money, and she's hassling ME over twenty cents? Screw it, I thought.

"I hear the employees there masturbate into the yogurt bins," I stated rather matter-of-factly.

"That's not funny," she snarled, slapping the money on the counter and storming out.

I turn to my right and I see all six and a half feet of tall blond Jon rolling around the floor laughing his ass off. "Oh no!" he managed out between the guffaws, "that IS funny. And this is your first closing. We're in for a ride here!"