My own csi

I think I can do that stuff that they show on TV. I have a great sense of intuition and deductive skills.

A perfect example.

I was walking up to the office one day when I notice a huge amount of excrement smeared all over the sidewalk. There was a long skid mark where the initial contact occurred. Probably over 3 feet long. The rest of the smear was at least 4 feet by 4 feet and there was even a visible palm print.

So my mind assembled what must've occurred to leave an evidence trail such as this.

Someone, who feeds his pet mastodon only enormous quantities of fiber, walked this beast along the New York City streets. Unbeknownst to the owner this animal, regarded by many scientists as extinct but I know better, left a quarter-ton pile of feces on the sidewalk. Evidently a blind man must've been jogging along that sidewalk and slid in this massive pile. Why would a blind man be jogging? Well, that's the only explanation for the long stripe. Only someone with enough momentum could've slid in that shit for over three feet, and only a blind man could've missed the offensive scatalogical remnant.

At that point the blind man appears to have fallen down and rolled around in the gargantuan stool for some time before stabilizing himself with a crap covered hand on the walkway.

A brilliant analysis if I do say so myself.

So when should I expect to get hired?