Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Jon's first garage sale and the $5 encyclopedias

Jon (Blondie) had a nice girlfriend by the name of Patty for many years. Part of her family's spring ritual was to clean up the house and sell what they can in a garage sale. I don't know if people in that neighborhood did that on a regular basis or what, but it was somewhat expected. Jon's mother once asked if my family did that as well. Perhaps she thought it was a thing that Christians in Bayside did, since it was definitely too plebian for the likes of the Bay Terrace Upper Crust.

Well, we never did that. Never will either.

But I digress.

So it was a time shortly after Jon had finished his undergrad studies at SUNY Purchase (aka Poor Choice) and he had a lot of extra furnishings and books and stuff leftover. So Patty got him to bring his stuff around to dump it all at their garage sale.

If you've never been to a garage sale, you have to understand that these things can really bring out the dregs of humanity. Bottom feeders who venture out into the light just to try to sneak an impossible deal.

So poor Jon got caught up in this web of evil and criminality. He unloaded a box which contained the very many volumes of encyclopedias he used throughout his studies and headed back to his car to drop out more stuff.

In those few moments a vulture swooped. She wanted the encyclopedia set and asked how much. So, right in front of this bloated individual, Patty asks Jon, "How much for the set of encyclopedias," and if she left it there it would've been fine, but she added, "Five Dollars?"

So the lady repeated, "$5!"

Jon is now a deer in the headlights, in near panic he says, "Oh no no no! Those cost me a bundle. I want at least $100."

So the lady repeated, "$5!"

"I just can do that, ummmm, $75?" Jon stammered.

So the lady repeated, "$5!"

And to cut the bargaining process, the lady argued that she was initially quoted $5 and insisted upon the seller honoring this price... and Jon did. His volumes of knowledge sold for pennies on the book. Thank you Patty. Please THINK before opening your mouth in the future. Have a nice day.

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