Friday, December 30, 2005

This is old, but still fun

Jay emailed this to me:

>Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
>
>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>None It should be opened when she brings it.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never
>be able to support you.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
>them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men fart more than women?
>Because women can't shut up long enough to
>build up the required pressure.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
>front door, who do you let in first?
>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>A woman who won't do what she's told.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>I married a Miss Right.
>I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
>a woman's sex drive by 90%.
>It's called a Wedding Cake.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men die before their wives?
>They want to.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Women will never be equal to men until they can
>walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
>gut, and still think they are sexy.

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